Needing 13 - Johnny Kavanagh

SO CLOSE, YET SO FAR

JOHNNY

After spending an entire afternoon with my best friend, not obsessing over the fact that my angel was off on some sort of friend date with my soon-to-be-dead best friend, I had a sudden epiphany.

Tara like the hill and I were a match made in sports heaven.

Actually, we were a perfect match in every sense, but after a rather enlightening conversation with Shannon, it became clear to me that "sports heaven" was the best way to describe our situation.

The conversation with her had started off lighthearted, but it quickly turned into something deeper when I told her about my dream: to make it onto the Irish senior rugby team and compete in the Six Nations Championship. It had been my goal for as long as I could remember, the one thing I'd chased since I was a kid. Honestly, I wasn't sure what I would do if I didn't make it. It felt like it was everything to me, the one shot I had at proving myself not only to others but to myself as well.

Gibs and Shannon were the only two people who knew about the injury I'd been hiding. I hadn't told anyone else because I didn't want to face their disappointment or pity. Shannon had been pissed when she first found out, rightfully so, telling me off for pushing my body past its limits. But even though she wasn't thrilled about it, she respected my decision to keep playing. That was my Shannon—fierce but supportive, always in my corner, even when it hurt her to be there.

Every time I saw her, whether it was walking down the halls at Tommen or out on the rugby pitch, she'd quietly ask me how I was doing, if the pain was bad after a training session, or if there was anything she could do to help. She had this way of checking on me without drawing attention, like she understood that I needed to appear strong for everyone else, even when I was struggling. And after Joey gave me the go-ahead to take her home after school, it became a regular sight to see us together around school. Some days, I'd catch the curious stares of other students or overhear the whispers of fucking gossipmongers.

They thought we were dating. Typical, really. It was like they couldn't see a guy and a girl being close without jumping to conclusions. But knowing that all the attention made Shannon uncomfortable—especially with everything else going on—I told them all to shove their stupid bleeding rumors up their holes.

The thing is, Shannon casually dropped a bombshell that sent my mind spiraling. Tara was going to compete in the U20 Athletics this summer, and Shannon, with all the excitement of a kid before Christmas, told me she and her brothers were going with her to Lithuania to support her. Suddenly, everything clicked into place—the reason I'd found Tara at the Academy that day. She wasn't just there for the view or some casual workout—she trained there, intensely and regularly.

As she went on, enthusiastically rambling about how thrilled she was to explore a new country, my thoughts drifted elsewhere. Specifically, to Tara. Well, her—and the flood of dirty fantasies that suddenly filled my mind at the idea of us being alone at the Academy. Images of sweaty, hot training sessions turned into something much steamier flooded my brain, and I had to fight hard to keep my smirk from turning into something more revealing.

Now, though, I had the perfect excuse to get closer to her, and the best part was that she wouldn't be able to escape me. I grinned inwardly at the thought of ramping up my training sessions to match hers—shirtless, naturally, just to see how she reacted, casually showing up at the track to "check in" on her, maybe flirt a little and see where it would take us. A nagging voice, eerily similar to Gibsie's, whispered in my head that I was only using this as an excuse to shamelessly ogle at Tara while she trained and that I should be ashamed of myself.

I wasn't ashamed.

Not one bit.

Why lie about it?