Your Beauty Never, Ever Scared Me - Wintumn Stories

End These Sleepless Nights For Me

Autumn couldn't sleep. No matter how hard she tried or what she did to relax nothing could take her mind off the vote the next day. Well...that day now. It was 3 AM and she hadn't been able to settle in at all. She wasn't at all worried about their plan. They had the information, they had the votes, there was no way they were going to leave with Roger still being in charge. If it were completely within her control Roger wouldn't be walking out of there at all. But seeing as that wasn't an option, she would have to deal with the fact that he would still be around. She'd be happy to never see him again after today.

Much like with their wedding, she saw no point in telling him they were expecting. There was no way he was going to be a part of her child's life. After the way he treated her as a child, she didn't want him within the same postcode as her child, let alone near enough to meet them. She was hoping it was still early enough that he wouldn't have had time to even hear about the pregnancy. But given how he seems to know everything, she couldn't guarantee he didn't already know.

After another hour of tossing and turning she decided just to make her way down to the kitchen to look over the paperwork again. If she wasn't sleeping she might as well use her time wisely. And this way she wouldn't wake Winter. He wasn't the lightest sleeper but he always seemed to wake up when she needed him. He'd helped her through so many sleepless nights and pulled her out of her nightmares more times than she could count; but he'd been working so hard lately she didn't want to wake him.

Her efforts, though, would be in vain. Winter had become so used to sleeping next to Autumn that whenever she was gone for too long, he couldn't stay asleep. Part of it was because he worried about her but mostly it was that she brought him as much a sense of security as he brought her. Everyone was always talking to Winter about how he'd been so good for Autumn. How she was so much happier with him and how it was obvious he was her safe space, but she'd been just as good for him.

From a young age Winter was told that he wasn't "manly enough" by other kids in school. He wouldn't spend his time playing sports and chasing after the girls in his grade with the other boys. He knew from a young age what he enjoyed and how to be respectful. But that didn't translate to being "cool." Even his father would often tell him to "man up" or "be a man" when he'd be upset or hurt. Eventually that stopped but that didn't mean Winter didn't spend many sleepless nights thinking about his fathers words; wondering how he could be better.

He didn't have a real relationship until well into his twenties and when he finally did he had to hide his feelings and hobbies the whole time because his ex told him they were embarrassing. He didn't feel safe to be himself and slowly felt his own light go out in favor of making her happy. But Winter loved her and felt like he was lucky to have anyone at all. So what if he couldn't share how he was feeling because as the man he was supposed to be above that? As long as she was happy that was what he cared about. But there was only so long that he could be the only "strong one."

Finally he decided that he couldn't try to be someone he wasn't anymore. All of Winter's friends were so supportive when he finally left that relationship. They were helping him to get back to his old self. But once again he would sit up at night wondering why he'd never be good enough. It took him a while but he finally just accepted himself for who he was. Once he decided he didn't care what other people thought he left his management position to be back in the rooms helping kids, he reconnected with his family and he found himself at the Halloween party with Autumn.

He only planned for it to be one drunken night. A night where he wouldn't sit up thinking about what he needed to do better because it's not like it would matter. Neither of them would remember this in the morning. He'd never done that kind of thing before but he was an adult and he was single for the first time in a while. There was no harm in having some fun, right? But from the second their hand touched, he knew it was more than that. From the first kiss, he knew she was his home. When they left that restroom to go home before they got too carried away, he knew his life had changed.

Not once had Autumn made him feel less than. She never ignored his emotions, holding him when he needed and talking him through anything he needed. She took an interest in his hobbies and loved him for all the traits he was once told would make him unlovable. They were fully themselves together and every new thing they learned about the other made their love stronger. In their relationship they took turns being the strong one. They'd never have to go through anything alone.

He'd become even more sensitive to her presence these days because of the baby. No matter how hard he tried to not think about the past, he'd never be able to fully stop worrying. He'd found himself staying up later to make sure she got to sleep and waking up more just to check on her. The lack of Autumn's presence only caused Winter to stir enough to reach out his arm to her. When he realized that the bed was empty, he jolted awake. He rushed down to the kitchen when he noticed the light was on.

"My love, are you alright?"

He sounded panicked which made Autumn feel terrible. She knew for the next couple of weeks anytime she expressed even the slightest bit of discomfort he'd worry about her. And not just Winter either. In the few days since they've known she was pregnant Reece and Marjorie had been keeping a much closer eye on her as well. Autumn couldn't wait to finally make it to a point where everyone could be excited instead of walking on eggshells around her. They'd just finally stopped, but now they were right back to it. She knew they were only doing it because they cared but she really didn't want to feel like a burden anymore.

"Nothing to worry about, my sweet. Just a lot on my mind." She walked over and gave him a quick kiss. "Go back to bed."

"Only if you'll come with me, darling."

When Autumn came into his life, Winter's sleepless nights ended. He'd do anything he could to end hers. So he held her close, locking his hands together behind her back holding her firmly in place. They both knew she could easily get away if she wanted to but instead she just fake struggled as the two fell into fits of laughter and kisses. She finally relented and he led her back upstairs, pulling the duvet over her once she got back into bed. Once they were both resettled, Winter pulled Autumn close. She rested her head on his chest and let out a heavy sigh.

"My father already knows, doesn't he."

"Unfortunately that is very likely, my love. But don't worry about that. If I need to take care of him again I won't hesitate to do so. And I know Reece would be willing to help me. That's not even to mention Mia. No one will let Roger even look at you sideways, let alone comment on anything. What's important right now is for you to try to get some sleep."

He could feel Autumn relaxing into his touch as he traced partners in her back and stroked her hair, the two surefire ways to get her to sleep. Eventually she fell asleep. It had been so long since Winter saw her sleeping this peacefully. When he went to change positions to go to sleep himself, he saw her start to stir. He couldn't bring himself to disturb her so he didn't move. It wasn't the most comfortable position but it didn't matter. She had a long day ahead. He would deal with some sore muscles tomorrow if it meant that she was finally rested.