Your Beauty Never, Ever Scared Me - Wintumn Stories

Hand in Hand

After the 12-week scan. That was a common phrase around the house. After the 12-week scan they would really start shopping for clothes. After the 12-week scan they would narrow down their name choices. After the 12-week scan they'd start work on the nursery. After the 12-week scan they would feel like they could breathe again.

Both Autumn and Winter knew that there was still so much that could go wrong after 12 weeks but that was always the point that doctors and midwives were using to ease their minds. If they made it that far the chance of losing the baby again decreased dramatically. Autumn knew all the statistics and repeated them often in order to calm her mind.

They scheduled the scan for as early as possible so neither of them had to spend the day worrying about the appointment. The stress would have been too much for either of them to deal with. They'd already had one ultrasound due to how her previous pregnancy went but this one felt more real and so much more important. The first time there was not much to see. The doctors tried to point out what they were seeing but to them it just looked like shadows, nothing that could make it feel real.

The car ride was full of nervous energy. Both because of the day and because Autumn wasn't driving. Autumn had been feeling much sicker recently and dealing with quite a bit of back pain making it harder for her to get any sleep, so Winter was driving more often. She hated being a passenger. It wasn't that she thought Winter was a bad driver, she just liked that when she drove she felt like she had control over what happened. If she was driving she could keep everyone safe.

She'd used the time she was unable to sleep to do an incredible amount of research into what would happen at today's appointment and everything they could possibly say had gone wrong. She relayed this all to Winter in the car, barely stopping to breathe between sentences. Winter just let her talk. It was clear that she needed to get all of her thoughts out and he was happy to let her. His mind, though, kept wandering to all the good that could come out of the appointment. They were going to see their baby and hear its heartbeat for the first time. They never got that last time. He was sure once that happened that most of their anxieties could finally give way to the sheer joy of becoming parents.

Once he could tell she was running out of things to say he moved a hand onto her thigh, giving it three quick squeezes. Autumn stopped talking for the first time that morning and looked at the smile on her husband's face. She couldn't help but smile back seeing how excited he looked.

"I love you too, my sweet."

They walked into the clinic hand in hand. They were much less concerned about people seeing them show affection for one another these days. Especially today. They both needed the extra support that holding hands would bring them. Autumn checked herself in and they made their way into the waiting room, their hands staying clasped the entire time. Winter felt her grip tighten and saw her nerves starting to get the better of her as they continued to wait. They were about fifteen minutes early and the time was just dragging on as their anticipation grew. He saw her focusing intently on the wall in front of them, very obviously trying not to panic. Winter knew that nothing he said could help, he was just as worried as she was, but he had to say something; it was hard to see her like this. He leaned over and gently turned her face to look at him. He looked deep into her eyes before he gave her a quick kiss, placing his forehead against hers after their lips parted.

"Everything's going to be alright, my love. I'll be right here beside you, no matter what."

Autumn's grip on his hand loosened slightly as she kissed him again. Having him there with her was such a comfort. Winter was one of the only people who could bring her out of her own head. He always seemed to know when she was overthinking and just how to ease her racing thoughts. She focused on his presence to calm down a bit more as she heard a nurse call her name.