Chasm.| Seo Changbin

Prologue.

She stood there, breathing nervously while facing the thousands of people ahead of her down the stage, waiting for her closure statement. Her bare feet were cold as they touched the floor of the stage. Her body was starting to shiver from the coldness of November's chilly nights that she hadn't felt just a few minutes before as she was performing for two hours nonstop and her body heat kept her warm. But now, standing still with all those eyes looking at her with love and admiration that she knew would fade away a minute later, the coldness started to click in, especially with how she was almost naked.

Stella stood in her black bra and very short shorts. Her ash blond naturally wavy hair fell to the middle of her back. There was no spot of makeup on her face and body. Her fake nails were removed. A silk robe piled down her feet that she just took off and dropped down, to show her body that was a mess. Scars ran up and down her thighs and torso. Spots of pigmentation. Traces of a removed tattoo. That natural body of hers was being exposed like that for the first time by her own will.

She took one step closer to the mic stand and lifted her two hands to hold it. The spotlight followed her as she moved to keep her visible to the audience in this huge arena. A sixty-hundred thousand fully booked arena by the fans of this twenty-five-year-old girl, who came to her last concert on this tour.

Once she held the mic, they all stopped cheering and screaming and immediately silenced.

"Well," She gave an awkward nervous laugh. "It was a chaotic night, right?" She questioned and her fans screamed. The lightsticks flickered gold in their hands as they waved them.

She breathed in heavily and then looked ahead with a straight face. "I know my appearance now might be shocking, but this is me." She looked down on her body. "This is the body and face that's always been hidden behind the makeup and the flashy clothes. Those scars are what made me who I am today. Those scars remind me that I survived a tragic accident at a very young age and that I was strong enough to carry on with my life till I made it to where I am now. Those scars that I've been hiding, are me."

She gulped down and continued. "But that doesn't mean the earlier Stella wasn't me. The tomboy that you watched grow up from a teen to an adult was me. The one that wore hot shorts and miniskirts was me. The one who was dressed in very long baggy shirts and pants was me. The full makeup face was me. The sexy dress was me. The combat boots was me. The girl with braids and the one with silky wet hair were me. The one who danced powerfully, the one who sang quietly, and the other who rapped. The one who's awkward with others but outgoing on variety shows. The one who goes to hospital events for donations and the one who gets the highest pay. The one who speaks conservatively with elders but might curse playfully with her fans. The one who's almost naked right now. They are all me."

Her voice started to shake as her tears started to build up. "I can be all." She shrugged. "I don't have to stay in one mold. But the career I had chosen obligated me to hide my true sides and show only the good so I don't get criticized. I was obligated to hide my painful past and the scars that resulted from it. I was obligated to cover those scars although I never hated them. I was obligated to talk in a specific tone and wear specific clothes to match the image and the identity that my fans, you, approved. And when I started to show my true colors, I was cursed and hated. I was called names that I didn't deserve. I didn't even want to hide all of that."

Her tears were streaming down her face by then as the fans started mumbling. Some empathized with her while others scoffed at how she seemed to be scolding her fans.

"And I'm tired of all of that. I'm tired of always trying to match the standards of some people who don't even know the real me. People who would turn their backs on me once they see something that doesn't get to their liking. People who called me ugly when they saw the scars on my back and called out to my agency to let me have plastic surgery to remove those 'ugly scars'." She paused to scoff. By then, Stella could hear the commotion happening backstage and knew that the staff would try to stop her from going further but she was determined to see the end of it. "You know? It's the same scar that someone told me it looked beautiful as if I have wings on my back." She said and a smile crept on her face. She shoved her head to the right, to see the silhouette of the man who protected that stage so she could go on with her statement without being stopped.

Although it was dark and she couldn't see his face, she was sure he smiled back at her.

"I'm very tired to carry on with this life anymore." She sobbed. "I'm so tired and done with this." She wiped her face and then clutched the mic even tighter. "I'm so sorry for the ones who truly supported me, loved me, and wished me the best. I'm so sorry for the ones I'm letting down right now." She could hear the yelling downstage and backstage at the same time. Her fans were going nuts and the staff behind the stage were doing the same. "But I quit. I'm done for good." She finally uttered the words she prepared and planned to end her tour with, and to end all of her career in entertainment. "Please forgive me. Thank you for attending my last concert. I wish you all nothing but happiness, and I wish that one day, you will understand that idols are as much human beings as you all are. I'm sorry and thank you." She stepped back, bowed down, and walked away from the center stage.

The audience was nothing but chaos behind her. Some supported and cheered for her courage, some cursed, yelled, and threw stuff at the stage, and some were just shocked and out of words.

Reaching backstage, Stella found it nothing better. Her manager looked at her with a fuming face and gritted teeth. The stylists and organizers were disappointed in her. The CEO of her agency came up the corridor yelling and cursing, even calling her names that the security had to stop him cause he seemed to be one step from slapping her.

And then, there was him. The only smiling and supporting face.

He gently shugged down his jacket and stepped closer to Stella. He wrapped her cold almost naked shivering body with it. He then bent down and placed a pair of sneakers in front of her feet that obviously didn't belong to her. He helped her step into those sneakers. That man stood back to his full length, looked at her with the same soothing smile, and wiped her tears.

He wrapped one arm protectively around her shoulders and pulled her to him. "Let's go, Ella." He talked gently and she just nodded.

They both started walking away. The people around them opened the way up for them. No one would dare to approach her while she was in his arms.

They all watched as the top star, Stella, and her personal guard, Changbin, exited the arena and the whole industry.