Intertwined

Loss and a Gift

A/N: We know this is coming, but this chapter features talk of pregnancy loss. Having been through it multiple times I know it can be quite confronting and there are times in my past when I couldn't read or watch anything about it without struggling. Support services specifically for pregnancy loss helped a lot and I urge anyone struggling to access services local and available to them.
T/W also for emetophobia

You know those days where you just have this nagging feeling that something isn't right? Today was one of those days. I had a slight headache when I woke up and rolled over to find Mia not beside me. I felt a twinge of disappointment and let out a grumble.

'I'm right here sweetheart,' Mia walked out of the bathroom wearing her running shorts, trainers and her hair swept into a high ponytail. I held my head as I sat up. 'Are you ok baby?' Mia came and sat down.
'Just a headache. I'll be fine. I just need some painkillers,' Mia helped me up and took me into a warm hug. I breathed a sigh of relief.
'I won't go for a run,' Mia started.
'No, no. It's ok. You go. I just need some tablets and a coffee,' I let her gently sway me and hummed. I could stay in her arms all day, but I had to get ready. 'You go for your run,' I kissed her softly. 'The girls?' I asked.
'Oh still asleep,' she kissed me back. 'I won't be long,' she reassured me and I slowly made my way downstairs as she went for her run.

When Mia came back I had started to feel better and Dan text and asked if the girls could come over as his parents and sister were visiting for the day from Manchester. I didn't mind and knew Mia had no set plans with them. He said he would bring them back tomorrow morning on his way to work.

'I'll get started on some photo experiments today,' Mia said thinking about her ideas and looking intensely at her camera and its accessories. As the girls wandered into the kitchen Mia put it aside and started making them breakfast while I let them know they were going to have a family day with their dad and grandparents.

I found myself hesitant to leave for work today. Dan had picked up the girls and I was nervous about leaving Mia, or was it nerves about going to the Nursery? Or. What were these nerves today? I shook my head.

'Are you going to be ok today sweetheart?' Mia looked at me concerned.
'I just have the jitters today. I can't seem to shake this feeling,' I frowned.
'I could help with that, if you like!' A cheeky smirk on her face.
'I don't have time for that unfortunately, but could you drive me to work and pick me up later?' I just wanted Mia's company for as long as possible.
'Ok baby. I'll get changed and grab my keys'.

Once I got to work, I started to feel a little more like myself. I chatted to Carly and her positive attitude was rubbing off on me. Winter arrived about halfway through the day and quietly said hello in the garden before returning to the toddler room to do lunch cover in there. Winter seemed distant, but as we were in different rooms, I didn't push it. But there was that nagging feeling again.

On lunch I went to go to the office to talk with  Marjorie about work tomorrow and Agatha let me know Marjorie had gone home early. That was odd.

The remainder of the day seemed to drag on and after I said goodbye to Sorscha, Carly and Agatha I was relieved to see Mia standing, waiting for me outside. Before I reached her my phone rang.

When I saw Marjorie's call come through on my phone as I walked to Mia's car I knew it was bad news. Winter had left work early and was quiet all day, Autumn hadn't come back to work and Marjorie had left before lunch.

I had that sinking feeling you have when your darkest fears come true. When the pain you felt at the thought of a horrible thing, meets the pain of it being a reality.
'Marjorie, what's wrong with Autumn?' I asked before Marjorie even spoke.
Mia looked up at me as she heard my voice, her eyes worried by my tone. I held her hand and stood close to her.
'Autumn has had a miscarriage,' Mia let out a gasp and put her arm around me.
'Are you with Autumn?' I asked.
'I'm with Reece. I dropped Autumn home from the bar when Winter came home from work. She just spoke to Reece,' Marjorie was trying not to cry and I could hear Reece crying and trying to take deep breaths next to her.