Intertwined

Never in a Million Years

A/N: Hello again beautiful readers. Life, lately, has been a bit like trudging through the swamp of sadness without a horse (Never Ending Story anyone?). But seriously, this week I lost all confidence in my ability to create a coherent bit of writing. As a result half of what I originally wrote for this chapter I cut and will save for a future chapter. 

I hope you all have people in your life who give you love, kindness and respect. People who show you the light when you're feeling lost in the dark and alone. I'm very grateful for those people that I have in my life and this chapter is dedicated to them. 

Do you ever look back on dark periods in your life and wonder how you made it out the other side? When you were in it, it feels never ending. It feels as though this darkness is simply how life will be.

Sometimes it's hard to know when exactly the darkness started to lift. It happens gradually like clouds slowly moving apart, and soon you feel the sun is warming your skin again, helping you see the colours of the world a bit brighter.

Other times you can pinpoint that exact moment in time, down to the second. Something that shines so bright you couldn't possibly have stopped it making cracks in the darkness you've been surviving in. No amount of bitterness and fear could have held it back. And when that light touches you, would you ever really want to stop it coming through? Its warmth, even the smallest amount, becomes the only thing you need, like surviving off the heat of a flame on a candle.

Each time you feel that warmth you understand the need to let go of some more darkness and one day, without even realising it the darkness is almost gone. The warmth is enveloping you and the world of heavy nothingness you once existed in, is the past.

When the darkness you were so used to living in began after abuse and trauma was passed and forced upon you, it is difficult to let go. It is difficult to not let it affect your direction, choices and the unconscious facets of your personality. It takes work and effort to strip it back. It takes desire to be free of the restrictions that surviving in the darkness holds over you.

There's nothing to feel shame or guilt about if you have trouble peeling the darkness away. It takes time and it can be a one step forward two steps backwards process. The point is, to try. To try to find ways to let the light in, to let go and welcome it, to love it and reflect it back.

That last remnants of darkness can seem small and insignificant, and you may debate whether to let it go or keep it, just in case. The choice is up to you. Perhaps that last part is a reminder of what used to be, without holding you back. A particle of the past that shows you how far you have come.

It may be that some of us work every day to keep the darkness small, because the light is too important now. The life built with light is too wonderful, intricate and beautiful to shut it out again. However, you deal with that last sliver of the darkness is up to you. It's no longer big enough to hold you back, because you are free to make a choice everyday not to let it.

Mia knew the exact moment the light struck her dark shell.

She saw the light walk in the office that day, unaware of the impact it was having on the redhead. Unaware that the glow it had was taking the new deputy manager by complete intoxicating surprise.

Amelia's light was Charlotte. Even on Charlotte's darkest days her fiancé could feel her warmth and see her light shine brighter than anyone or anything else.

Today, two weeks before Christmas, Mia was editing photos but got distracted watching Charlotte place a few more baubles on the Christmas tree. The brunette stepped back to take in her work, squinted, frowned and bit the inside of her cheek. Mia sighed. She just adored Charlotte, everything about her, especially in these quiet moments. She loved Char's thinking face, the little crinkles on the edge of her eyes when she was concentrating, the way she tilted her head to the side and the way her lips pouted slightly when she bit the inside of her cheek, before making a decision.