Dangerous Lines | Yuzuru Hanyu

14. Truth

The game she was playing was dangerous.

In no way or form did she ever go beyond the leaves of friendship with Yuzu but the sheer amount of time they spent together was already alarming.

He never did tell her if she was the reason behind his presence in the coffee shop every morning but it was undeniable that his smile got brighter when he saw her face every morning.

Yaeko didn't take too long until she felt the same way. The mere fact that she knew he would be around made her even more excited to leave the hotel every morning and enjoy every second she could outside of her husband's surroundings.

Maybe it would have all been fine if she hadn't been painfully aware of the fact that he was growing on her with every day that went by and the effects he had on her.

It was all fun and games until her fantasies became more and more real.

When she couldn't even be focused on the present while being with her husband, no matter the circumstance, Yae knew she was completely and utterly screwed.

Sure, she had known this could happen from the very beginning but at the same time, it was hard to argue that her self-will alone would be able to fight her own instincts.

The problem was that every time she was reminded of who she was and what they were doing, Yaeko also realized that he had no possible way of knowing where he was getting himself into. Yuzuru didn't know who she was, didn't know who her husband was. 

Knowing that she was hiding this, it was only normal to wonder if it was fair to the man who had given her so much.

One thing was certain, he made her feel like no one ever had, beautiful, desired, or even cared for. He wanted to know who she was and not the image that she so easily could give others to protect herself.

Well, merely trying to hide was useless when he saw right through her every time.

So maybe, for once in her life, being egoistical and trying to keep things the way they were wasn't so wrong but at the same time, she just couldn't do it when it placed him in danger.

It was about a week later that she made the decision to tell him what she had been hiding all along, willing to take whatever the consequences came with the truth.

On that morning, the tension on her shoulders was more than obvious, even to him, who didn't know her for that long.

"Are you okay, Yae? You look a bit off"

Shortening her name so casually was very recent to him and weirdly enough, it didn't feel wrong in the slightest. Just the same way she started using Yuzu as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"I need to talk to you."

He was just settling in front of her, sitting with a smile on his face before joking.

"You look oddly serious. I don't think I've ever seen you like that after Tokyo. That kind of look reminds me of when you spoke with NTV's director."

That was the kind of look she threw to others when in her business mode, when she tried to void herself of most emotions to make things easier to handle.

"I just... I'm afraid this is serious."

He changed his expression immediately, and Yae knew that she couldn't do it as easily as with everyone else. She couldn't just turn her emotions off. It was still weird to her how easily he managed to get into her life but there wasn't much she could do now.

"You're scaring me"

He was way too precious, but she knew that doing this was just as necessary as being herself around him.

"There's something you should know and I can barely handle the fact that I haven't told you yet."

"Whatever it is, you can tell me, Yae. I really don't plan to run away."

At the very least, his good humor always managed to encourage her.

"It's about who I am... well, who my husband is. It isn't fair that you don't know what you are getting yourself into by befriending me."

His chuckle made her stop talking and finding the same smile as usual on his face was a bit confusing to her. 

"It feels like you're about to tell me that you're in the mafia or something."

The way in which he so easily hit the right spot hurt her almost right away. His lucky guess was disturbing, to say the least.

"Oh... I..."

"Yae? Wait...are you?"

"My husband is in the Yakuza."

Just like that, she had said it, admitting the one thing that had been bothering her for so many weeks on end.

"Are you messing with me?"

She didn't mean to, but it was way too easy to get mad given the intensity of the situation.

"Do I look like I am?"

It could be almost funny, the way she had clearly confused him and how long it took until Yuzu finally reacted but all at the same time, the worries that this would be the last time he looked at her the same way hadn't vanished in the slightest.

"How... How did you end up...?"

The unthinkable ended up happening.

For the first time in her life, Yaeko told her story, pausing every now and then to recover from all of the emotional rollercoaster that came with it. To everyone else, she was just the woman who accepted to marry this man, so many years older than she was. Yuzuru was the first person who heard it all from her lips, all of the conflicting thoughts that had always been there and that still bothered her to this day. All of the hate that was still evident every time she mentioned her father.

Even in this, once she was all done saying everything, Yuzuru surprised her.

"None of that changes the way I see you."