Savage

Chapter 3: Meditation

The rest of the day just went by in a haze. Ronnie got so tied up with work that I didn't even get a chance to run the situation by her. Then she left to go hang out with her nieces and nephews as she promised. When I got to yoga class Soraya was the first to notice that wasn't as chatty as I normally am. We began setting up our mats in the studio when she started annoying the fuck out of me, she finally asked what was wrong.

"Come on, Sage, what's wrong? You're more grumpy than usual."

I shot her an irritated look.

"I'm not in the mood," I sighed.

"Are you sure? Because yuh face a tell a different story."

I sighed again. Then caved.

"My boss asked me out on a date."

"Eeh. That nuh sound too bad. A long time yuh know Ronnie still, so that should be fun," side-eyeing me.

I gave her a nasty look.

"Yuh love mek joke. I'm serious, smart-ass. A Mr. Heinrich I'm talking about."

She laughed, "Yuh mus learn to take a joke. All when yuh serious."

She continued laughing.

"It's bad. He's my boss and yuh deh a uni. Wah yuh know bout dating?" I began prying into her life.

Then she said something I didn't expect.

"Enough to tell yuh not to let the opportunity pass yuh. You never know. Suppose he's the one. He is just wearing a title and yuh guh really let that stop yuh?"

"Yeah, but what if it doesn't work out," I rebutted. "We work together. I work for him. It will be awkward."

"What if it does work out," she said nonchalantly, as she sat down on the mat in a meditative position. "You have to try, Sage."

"I'll think about it."

"You gwaan think about it. Mind sumbody else try to act on it and steal his attention away."

"If him a fi me. Him a fi me," I stated a bit too strongly for my liking.

Soraya ignored me.

"Isn't he the same boss you and Ronnie call Mr. Finerich?"

"Yes."

"Unu nuh have no imagination," she finished.

Her attention switched to her phone in hand, which led her to ignore me for the rest of the class.

I was stunned that Soraya was open to the idea that I overlooked Mommy setting up next to me. She had her ears cocked this entire time. It was evident that she heard our conversation.

"Sage, mi nuh believe seh yuh mus do it."

"Why's that, Mommy?"

I didn't bother to scold her for eavesdropping.

"Suppose yuh lose your job because of it. He won't lose anything enuh. You can lose everything. Really think bout it before you do anything rash."

I remained silent for the rest of the class. I felt claustrophobic. Instead of becoming relaxed during the class, tension built inside of me stifling any rational thinking that should take place. I didn't like this feeling. It was not me. I needed to feel connected to some form of logic. I needed everything to make sense again.

I didn't know what to do. I'm curious, but I don't know if I want to risk it.

Looking back at Soraya and Mommy as the class ended warmed my heart. It was always nice to use Patois every once in a while. It reminded me of where I am coming from. The sun and outdoors connected us with nature. Jamaica. Farming in the country was therapeutic to me. It brought my family and me together, which I loved. It gave me a sense of purpose. To feel the earth between my fingers and toes was beneficial. Groundation.