Savage

Chapter 42: Rama and Sita

The next day...

I knew my face was wet, no matter how many times I tried wiping it with the piece of cloth I had balled up in my hand. This morning I was in Ronnie's room helping her get ready with her mother, my mother, and all the aunties, and cousins. She walked up to me all excited to show me Javed's name hidden somewhere on her arm in the beautiful, intricate detail of the now-dried henna adornment. She was blushing and gorgeous. Her skin glistened, radiant and happy. Eventually, she looked up at me and pulled me down onto an ottoman, in the room to whisper in my ear that she was nervous.

"I can't stop shaking," she said, holding her hands in the air for me to see.

I smiled and embraced her. Then I held her face in between my palms, ensuring that I didn't touch her face but the sides of her head. "Look at me, hun. You're glowing."

Pulling her back into an embrace, "I love you so much," I said, squeezing her. "I'm going to miss you."

I heard her hiccupping a sob.

"I'm gonna miss you too. Thank you, S," Ronnie pulled away, kissing my forehead. "I'm sorry," she started as she stood, gently blotting the droplets of tears that had escaped. "I'm going to have to disappoint you. I'm not going to be a mother anytime soon. I lost the baby."

She held her head down. I was in shock.

"What? When?" she screeched, attracting unwanted attention. Ronnie looked up and assured everyone with a nod and a smile. They went back to whatever it was that they were doing.

"Sometime before you got here," she said sniffling. "I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how. I felt like a failure. I lost our first child," her voice cracked. "He was, he was getting so big even though I wasn't showing that much," she cried. Tears streaming down her cheeks.

"You're not a failure, babe. Don't say that. I'm sorry," I sobbed.

"I know. Jav and I are planning on telling our families after the honeymoon," she said somberly.

There was so much sadness in her eyes. It was surprising to me that she kept this for so long. She was so excited in the celebrations and you could see it, but this turn in her emotions was scary. I knew Ronnie was strong, but I didn't know she was this strong. I knew I couldn't have held on for this long to save face.

We embraced again in silent tears. Everyone thought we were overjoyed with emotions and one of Ronnie's cousins offered to redo her makeup. Eventually, we parted and tried to talk about something lighter.

"Remember I promised to finish the line that made me fall in love with Jav?" she said in a whisper. "He said, 'You're the dream I longed for. Let me love you, my dark Angel.' "

She smiled, with the tear stains down her cheeks.

"Are all Brits this serious as teens?" I asked.

I felt my tear stains pull on the skin of my face as I smiled back. A little silence fell over us.

"I forgot to tell you," she sniffled. "Rohit forbade Aidonia's songs from playing yesterday. Something about dredging up old memories," she said scrunching her eyebrows together.

She couldn't quite put the pieces together from her brother's vague response. I cleared my throat and turned my wet, flushed face nervously, eyes wide. It was when Ronnie looked at me, that realisation took form in her eyes. Her eyebrows shot up so fast, "Oh my God, you two!"

"Rohit was really hot. That was the only time we had together when I came over to hang out with you."

"So you're telling me every time whenever I thought you went home or to the bathroom and I heard the songs coming from Ro's room you were there this whole time? Gross!" She said getting up. Then she extended her hand to me, to help me up off the ottoman, delicately brushing my tears away. Her tone had changed. Peering down at the dried details of her henna I watched as her she caressed a part of the design on her forearm.

"Remember when we used to watch 'A Little Princess' as girls and cried at the end?"

I smiled at her. "Rama and Sita."

She smiled, "Rama and Sita."

"Now look at my baby. A whole wife to someone," I sobbed again.

*******

It was the end of a beautiful wedding ceremony. We were at the send-off and everyone was sobbing and giving their blessings to the lovely couple. Their parents were wishing them farewell. It was dusk outside, but the area where the wedding was held was bright. The golds and reds of Javed and Veronica's garments lit up. By the end of everything, there was rice, rose petals, pearls, saffron and turmeric everywhere. The area smelt of spices and luxurious perfumes. Garlands hung on the newlyweds' necks, a fire was lit in the centre of the mandap and most importantly Javed and Ronnie could not stop smiling at each other and with everyone else. Even when tears were glistening in Ronnie's eyes, I could see that she was so happy.

Approaching the car together, Javed walked ahead of Ronnie to hold the car door open for her. She took his outstretched arm and the look of pure adoration that they shared was breathtaking. They melted into each other. She was soft, where he was vulnerable. The strength was evident in their connection with each other. I began sobbing into the piece of balled-up cloth again. The car began to drive away as everyone waved and continued to throw the spices and petals in the retreating car's direction. When the car had disappeared into the distance the crowd made their way back to their rooms, as the staff from the hotel began the clean up. It was a long, emotionally beautiful wedding ceremony and I was glad to be a part of it. I slowly made my way to my room, picking up a glass of wine from one of the wait staff who was clearing the area.

*******

A few minutes later...

I couldn't wait to get back to my room. My feet were killing me. I had around three bottles of wine in my room, one chilling in the mini-fridge and the others for my home as decoration, until I had guests, meaning Ronnie or sometimes Ronnie and Javed now. I smiled to myself at the thought of them. As I got closer to my room the thoughts of Roman came flooding back to me. I instantly regretted thinking about him, as I stifled a sob. I used the key card to get into my room and pulled off my clothes as I got inside. Slamming the flute down a little too hard on the table under the television, spilling the Pinot Grigio all over my hand. I was glad the glass didn't break. Instinctively, I sucked on the back of my hand to get it as clean as possible, then continued to get out of my garments.

I stepped proudly into the luxurious hotel shower. I bared my soul to the spray of the water. I yelped as the cold water hit me first, then calmed when the warm water began its descent on my body. That's when the tears began and I let them rack my body until I felt raw. The ache for an emotional release was building and I succumbed to it then and there. I started to feel better. By the time my shower ended, I felt drained of everything and my eyelids were heavy with sleep and emotions that I bottled up. I sighed as I turned the shower off and stepped out. Feeling the aircon on my skin. My nipples puckered and I decided to air dry without the towel. I looked at myself in the foggy mirror, with my red eyes and slightly puffy eyelids. I was going to be fine, I told myself.

I stepped out of the bathroom and flicked the light switch on in the bedroom. I was about to slip my naked body into bed, when a figure sat comfortable in the corner chair became animated. I jumped, about to scream, when the features of his face materialized in the faint light. I calmed down. Now I felt rigid. Roman stood and stepped towards me in a few steady strides. He looked down at me after breaking the distance I had put between us with a simple touch. My eyes closed for a moment, yielding to his touch. He caressed my face with his fingertips on my cheeks.

"Ich liebe dich," It came out as a whisper.

My eyes flew open at the foreign words, a bit confused, trying to decipher his native tongue. His eyes lit up and I saw them soften for the second time, since getting to know him. I peered up at him, steeling myself for what was to come.

"Did you miss me, Kätzchen?"

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Notes: German: Kätzchen - kitten, kitty

Ich liebe dich - I love you