Notice Me (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 12-Harry

(Hai, guys.  How's it going?  I'm starting to think this story is turning into overkill, but that's because I'm just having such a good time writing it, plus all your support is making me feel like this story is going to be something, if that makes any sense.  Anywhores, this chapter is dedicated to Larry_Gaylinson for following me.  Thank you! 

Not much more to say, let's get cracking).

Harry sniffled, wiping his eyes and nose on what must have been his eightieth tissue.  He hadn't wanted to reject Lou, goodness no, but he knew he had to.  All feelings aside, Niall was his friend, and being with Lou would have been rubbing what Harry had tried so hard to hide in his face. 

Plus, Louis had come out of nowhere with his friendship and emotions for Harry.  Even though Louis seemed genuine and had Kadyn-who took absolutely zero shit no matter who it was she would be talking to-backing him up, it was still sometimes difficult to take his claims seriously.  What if Louis was just messing with him?  It wouldn't be the first time.  Harry was so shy people just found it easy to pick on him, which was why he did his absolute best to remain unnoticed.  Then Niall and Louis noticed him, and he had loved the attention, but now any chance he had with anyone was in pieces. 

Now there was this, the truth of how Louis felt laid out in front of him, dangling.  Just waiting for him to reach out and take it, and he couldn't.  He wanted to, but it wouldn't be fair to him, Louis or Niall.  He knew Louis wasn't pulling anything on him, he was too broken up for anything that had happened to be a lie. 

Harry brushed his fingers over his lips, remembering the way Louis' thin ones had come so close to locking over his own, and it had felt so right, like they were two halves of a whole.  Harry did feel a little lost without Louis, but at the same time the idea of Louis in the sense of anything more than temporary was mind-boggling.  Even though Harry had been crushing on him forever and then some, he had always been unattainable, out of Harry's reach.  And the idea that not only was he in reach, but he wanted Harry should have made him happy.  But in all truth, Harry was scared.  What if he wasn't what Louis thought he was?  What if he disappointed Louis in any way?  The "what if" factor was a constant in Harry's mind; he couldn't help it. 

Unsure of what else to do, he slipped on his trainers and walked the couple blocks to Kadyn's house.  It was the only thing he could think of; if she didn't have the answers, no one did.  He knocked twice and was greeted by Kadyn's father.  Knowing Harry was shy, he just smiled and said "Kadyn and her friend are in her room, go on up."  Curious as to who the friend her father was referring to was, he clomped up the stairs relatively quickly and opened her door. 

He then wished he had knocked.  He blushed red at what he saw, but couldn't tear his eyes away.  Kadyn was pushed against the far wall, pinned by Michael-whose hair was now white with a chunk of black-and their lips were locked together.  There was plenty of tongue involved, and somewhere in the recesses of Harry's mind, he was happy for them, but his most of him was gobsmacked.  He never had foreseen this actually happening. 

Kadyn broke away, grinning this lazy, lopsided smile at Michael, then ducked under his arm and walked over to Harry.  "What can I do for you, Haz?"  she questioned. 

"H-how did you know I was there?" Harry wondered aloud, twisting the hem of his tee. 

She shrugged.  "I heard the door open and I figured you'd be the only one to not cough or tell us to knock it off."  She pulled him over the the bed and sat him down, then sat on Michael's lap.  "So what do you need?" 

"I want to know what to do about Louis," Harry said.  "I want to be with him, but I just broke up with Niall and even though Lou returning my feelings has always been what I wanted, I'm just so scared, Kadyn." 

She gave me a half-grimace, half smile.  "I know what you mean, Harry, I really do.  It took some soul-digging for this" she gestured to Michael, then herself, "to happen.  He had to practically smack me over the head with how he felt for me to get what he wanted, and for me to understand how I was avoiding it.  But the difference is that you already allowed yourself to feel for Louis even before he threw his feelings at your feet.  He did so because he wanted a chance, even if it was the slightest of chances.  In his eyes, Niall would take you away from him for good, so he did everything in his power to put himself on your radar so to speak.  Now Niall's pissed at you, Louis' depressed because you rejected him, and it all falls back to you, Harry.  I would love to do what I do best and stick my nose in to solve your problems, but I can't."

"Why not?" Harry whined, not caring how desperate he sounded.  He needed answers and if Kadyn wouldn't give them to him, he would be stuck in this rut forever.  "You've been trying to help me since Day 1, Kadyn, and all you've seemed to do is make everything worse!"  He saw the hurt look on her face but barreled on, all the anger he was feeling spilling out like a leak in a dam.  "You introduced me to Niall, you talked to Louis about getting my attention, you have been here the whole fucking time and have done nothing but cause me more hurt!"

"HEY!" Michael barked, silencing Harry.  "Kadyn has only been trying to help you, Harry, and she didn't tell Niall to ask you out, or make Louis buy you those flowers or befriend you, she never tried to do anything but be a good friend and make you happy!  Don't say I'm being biased because you know I'm just calling it how I see it.  I like Kadyn, but everyone knows I've told her when she's wrong, she's heard me scold her about a million times since I met her." 

Kadyn gently laid her hand over Michael's mouth in lieu of shushing him.  "Maybe I should have stayed out of your business Harry, but there's no one to blame here in this situation, because we're all human and we can't control our feelings.  I know you want time to lick your own wounds before dealing, but you will have to confront this eventually." 

Harry felt so overwhelmed he wanted to scream.  Instead, he balled his fists in his hair and all but shouted, "But I don't know how!" 

Kadyn gently took his hands in her own, like she had before, when he was nervous about his date with Niall, and when he had found those flowers before it had become obvious it was Louis who had planted them.  "You are sixteen, Harry, and all of us fellow sixteen year olds can tell you that well are all clueless when it comes to the monumental or more critical times in our lives.  None of us know how.  I didn't know how with Michael, so I had to sit down and ask myself questions that you will have to ask yourself when you are ready to make your decision about Louis and what you want him to be to you.  Who are you, and what do you want?  Not what anyone else wants, or what you think you need, but the person that is staring back at you in the mirror and what he desires with all of him."

Harry nodded, and without a word, went home.  He started writing his thoughts out. 

Whatever happened, it wasn't going to be easy.  But it would be right.