The M in Mafia

Chapter 40

Home

This word had so many meanings. It could define a house, a feeling, a person. I had found all that in Enzo. He had become my home, where I felt safe, heard, loved, where I knew I would never be alone. 

After spending the whole night talking with my parents, Enzo offered for all of us to stay at his place. The house had stayed in such chaos for so long that it would need a good couple of weeks to get back to the way it was.

My parents accepted his offer, saying that they didn't want to be a burden and would find a hotel to stay at the next day as to not bother too much.

As I stood there, sitting in the couch of the living room we were in, I looked at all the people in front of me, and I realised how much I used to take all that I had and have for granted and I was determined not to do it ever again, money, wealth means nothing compared, to a family, health and love. I could have lost everything, my life included, but by some incredible luck I had survived through it all, we had made it out of the hell hole we had all been in. 

Call it luck, call it faith, I am just thankful to be here and to get to live another day. To get to live moments with my family, with Enzo.

Looking at my parents, watching my mom smile at my dad, I realised that a lot had changed for them too, they would never be the same, we would never be the same, but maybe that's okay, maybe that would mean that now we would appreciate more the little things, like the fact to be able to breathe, to wake up healthy, to be free.

From across the room I could see Enzo looking at me with his eyebrows frowned. I smiled at him, letting him know I was okay, and he just nodded, a small smile on his lips. I saw him walk towards me and offered me his hand for me to take, and so I did, getting up from the couch.

"Well shall we go to your house then Enzo? I confess that all this has made me pretty exhausted." my mom said and my heart ached for her. My beautiful mother, I cannot even begin to imagine what the psycho did to her and my dad, and I honestly didn't think I would handle knowing. I would literally go down to hell to bring the bastard back and kill him all over again.

"Of course, let's go." Enzo said, offering her his best and most sincere smile. She and my father smiled gratefully and we soon stepped out of the house and got inside Enzo's cars, my parents in one with Matteo and Enzo and I in another one.

As soon as Enzo started driving a comfortable silence took over the car ride. It was peaceful yet as I looked outside the window, I looked at all the places I had passed by so many times before and it all felt different. I had lived so many things in a year, yet here, everything looked the same. 

Nothing had changed, but I did. I was stronger, but at times I still felt so scared, as if I hadn't been able to process all that had happened. Thinking back to when Xavier caught me, I was so afraid, so alone. I am so proud of myself for making it out, for fighting the way I did, for Enzo, for my parents, for me. 

It would take time, probably a lot of it, but I was ready to become the new me, to become the person I forged myself to become when I only had myself. 

I always found change to be bad, with change comes discomfort, things you always knew, always could rely on, they all come crumbling down and you feel lost.

But what if, maybe, just maybe, in all changes, something good comes out of it. It's all about perspective I think, but it makes the change not feel like a burden or the end of something.

For exemple, I will mourn the person I was before, the innocent young woman whose only problem was to have her bikini returned by her best friends, I will miss being carefree and not really understanding that bad people and bad things can happen to anyone. I will miss the fact that my only problem was to be dragged at a party I didn't want to go to.