The M in Mafia

Chapter 39

(NOT EDITED YET)

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If I had to tell you my story, I'd say that for a 23 year old, I did a lot and saw a lot. I am fortunate of everything I have and the life my parents gave me since birth, but I could also say that I saw and lived things that I wish never happened.

Never had experienced this before, but after everything that happened in Hawaii with Xavier and all, I had developed some sort of post traumatic disorder about everything and anything, and honestly could you blame me. I had handled everything as calmly as one can and now I was paying the price of my calmness.

Countless night I would wake up from the same nightmare, the same feeling. The cold steel of a gun barrel pressed against my temple. I can never see who is holding out the gun, I never try to move or even talk, and the moment the gun shot is heard I wake up. Always startled and it is seriously starting to piss me off. 

I just want to sleep without having to wake up with my heart racing, every single time. 

"Again?" Enzo asked as he came and sat next to me on the jet, I nodded readjusting myself on the seat and changing the seat from a bed to a sitting position.

"Babe, you know you're safe now right?" he asked as he effortlessly picked me up from my seat and sat me on his lap, my head resting in the crook of his neck, I yawned, God was I tired.

"I know, it's just the same recurring dream and it's getting tiring. I just want to leave all that happened behind and move on." I tell him, not feeling the best at all, as if I had been drained of all my strength and energy.

"There's this woman working for me, she is like our psychiatrist, she knows that sometimes we see and live things that are really hard on us. I could ask her to come and see you if you want? I think that would be a good idea, and I could be with you if you want me to." he said, looking like a lost puppy, almost making me smile at how cute he looked. 

"You're so caring." I said, as I softly touched his hair, trying to hold back my tears, God I felt like such a mess. In between all that had happened, I had missed my period, all the emotions and stress had gotten the best of me, and I knew that I couldn't be pregnant, not having gone this far with Enzo yet. 

"I guess it will do me good to see someone and I would love for you to come with me, unless it makes you uncomfortable when talking about some things that happened." I told him, and he nodded, kissing my knuckles.

"Never leaving your side again, amore mio. Mai più." he said, hugging me so tightly. 

"You never speak Italian to me anymore." I said, I always loved to hear him speak Italian, his voice changed from when he spoke English, I loved it. 

"Do you miss it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow starting to get ask cocky again. I chuckled, God he was irresistible. 

"Sì." I said, I laughed, that word being as far as my skills in Italian went. 

We continued laughing and Enzo tried to cheer me up for the remaining of the flight, which he did successfully. After sleeping some more on him and then eating and watching a movie, we landed and I couldn't wait to go back home and see my parents. 

As soon as we crossed the gates of my home, a wave of nostalgia hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like I hadn't been there in ten years, when in reality it had only been a year. The weight of everything that has happened lifting off my shoulders as soon as I saw that my parents were ok. 

There they were, sitting on the couch, a cup of tea in their hands, talking to Matteo. They looked composed even thought they had been also thought some traumatic things.