It wasn't supposed to be like this. With my back pinned against the wall and my hands above my head, tears spilling from my eyes as he took me over the edge once again.
" You're a mystery, Sarah." I sob out, my breasts bouncing from each of his thr...
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My heart beats loudly like drums in my ears while I walk through the long hallway. I call for Hen, but he doesn't respond.
It's almost dinner time and I still haven't found him. He said he would go easy on me this time, hiding in an easy spot.
Yet, I still can't find him.
The portraits of Mama and Papa hang on the walls, Papa's eyes seem to be watching me wherever I go which further deepens the panic I feel.
" It's not funny anymore Hen, come out!" I yell, hoping and praying that I haven't lost him.
I see Vanessa passing by and run as fast as I can towards her, grabbing onto her legs to get her attention. She looks down at me with a small smile, carefully pulling my hands away from her as she takes a step back, " What's wrong?"
I swallow the ball in my throat and blink through my tears as I ask her as calmly as I can, " Have you seen Hen?"
She shakes her head and this time, I can't hold back the tears anymore.
I've lost him. It's because of me that he's not here anymore, It's my fault. Mama will be so sad. Papa will be angry.
" Amira?" Vanessa's soft voice tries to comfort me but I can't focus when the sad feelings start to wash over me.
I feel like I can't breathe anymore, my heart is exploding from my chest and there is so much wind in my ears.
I don't know what to do.
I try to calmly ask Vanessa if she can call Mama, but the words don't come out. No matter how hard I try, I can't speak. I do the only thing my voice lets me and I scream.
My face feels hot and I feel the hot tears sliding down my face, dripping onto the floor as I cry Hen's name.
" What happened?" The soothing voice rushes into my ears as the familiar scent washes over me.
I look up and see Mama ushering Vanessa away, before she quickly runs towards me and kneels down. The worry on her face makes my tears come out faster.
How will I tell her I lost her son?
" Malaika, look at me please, it's okay." She grabs me and pulls me onto her lap, cradling my face to her neck.
My tears wet her beautiful dress and I cry even more. The air can't get to me and I start hiccuping, gasping for some air to get inside me.
Through the hiccups, I manage to confess to Mama, " I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Mama, I lost Hen. I-I can't find him. H-He said he would be easy b-but-" I'm crying so loudly that I can't tell if she understands me.
Mama pats my back and shushes me softly, " It's okay, Malaika. Please breathe for Mama, remember what I told you? Smell the flowers and blow out the candles, let's do it together."
