JEON JUNGKOOK

40. forgiveness...?

A week had passed, and each day felt like an eternity to Jungkook. He had tried everything—gifts, small gestures, and even seeking out a therapist, desperate to learn patience and how to be a better man for her. All of it was for Y/N, and yet, nothing seemed to change. Her silence was like a wall he couldn’t break through, and her cold treatment was burning him from the inside out.

One evening, as Jungkook returned to the mansion, he found himself pausing in the hallway. The air felt heavy, oppressive even, as if the weight of his unspoken words and unresolved guilt lingered in every corner. He walked toward their bedroom but stopped when he saw her standing on the balcony, bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight.

Y/N was looking up at the sky, her expression unreadable. The silver light reflected off her skin, making her look almost ethereal, untouchable. Jungkook’s heart twisted painfully in his chest. He knew she was hurting, and that he was the cause of it. But seeing her like this, so distant and unreachable, filled him with a sense of helplessness he wasn’t used to.

He approached her cautiously, hoping against hope that tonight might be different, that she might finally let him in. “Y/N,” he began softly, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice, “can we talk?”

She didn’t move, didn’t even acknowledge his presence. Her eyes remained fixed on the moon, as if he weren’t even there.

The silence was suffocating. Jungkook clenched his fists, trying to rein in the anger bubbling inside him. He had been patient, had done everything he could think of to make things right, but she was like a locked door, refusing to open no matter how hard he tried.

“Y/N, please,” he tried again, his voice trembling slightly with desperation. “I’m trying. I’m doing everything I can to make things better between us. But you… you just won’t let me in.”

Still, there was no response. Jungkook’s patience snapped. He felt the anger he’d been trying to suppress for days come surging to the surface, and before he could stop himself, he let it out.

“Why are you doing this?” he demanded, his voice rising with frustration. “Why won’t you even try to forgive me? I know I messed up, but damn it, Y/N, I’m trying! What more do you want from me?”

Y/N remained silent, her expression calm, almost serene, as she continued to stare at the moon. Her lack of reaction only fueled Jungkook’s anger further. He needed something from her—anything. A shout, a cry, even a look of disgust—anything but this suffocating silence.

“Do you even care?” he yelled, his voice cracking under the strain of his emotions. “Do you even want to fix this, or are you just going to keep punishing me with your silence?”

Finally, Y/N turned to face him. Her eyes were calm, but there was a deep sadness in them, a sadness that pierced through Jungkook’s anger like a knife. Her voice, when she spoke, was soft, almost a whisper. “Can I go out alone? Do you trust me enough?”

Her question caught him off guard. For a moment, he just stared at her, unable to comprehend what she was asking. Of course, he knew the answer, but hearing her ask it so directly, so calmly, only made his chest tighten with a mix of guilt and confusion.

“Do you trust me, Jungkook?” she repeated, her voice still quiet, but there was a firmness in her tone that left no room for evasion.

The words stung, and he couldn’t help the flare of defensiveness that rose in him. Trust? After everything that had happened, after all the walls he had built to keep her in, how could she even ask that? The anger returned, mingling with the hurt and guilt that had been festering inside him for days.

Without thinking, he closed the distance between them, his movements quick and almost aggressive. Y/N instinctively took a step back, her body pressing against the cold stone of the balcony’s edge. There was no more room for her to retreat.

“Trust you?” Jungkook’s voice was low, dangerous, as he leaned in closer, his eyes locked onto hers. “How can you ask me that? How can I trust you when you’re still running away from me, even now?”

Y/N’s breath hitched, but she didn’t break eye contact. Her back was against the balcony’s edge, the cold stone pressing into her spine, but she held her ground. “I’m not the one who’s running away, Jungkook. You are. You’re running from what you did, from the truth.”

Her words hit him like a physical blow. For a moment, he just stood there, the rage and frustration draining out of him, leaving behind a hollow emptiness. She was right, and deep down, he knew it. He was running—from his guilt, from his shame, from the man he had become.

Jungkook’s hands, which had been clenched into fists, relaxed slightly. He looked down at her, the fight leaving his body, replaced by a deep, bone-weary exhaustion. “I’m trying, Y/N. I really am. But I don’t know how to make this right. I don’t know how to fix what I’ve done.”

Y/N’s eyes softened, just a fraction, as she watched him struggle with his emotions. For the first time in days, she saw a glimpse of the boy she had once known, the one who had played with her in Central Park all those years ago. But the memories of who he had become, the man who had forced her into this life, were still too fresh, too painful.

“I know you’re trying,” she admitted, her voice quiet but steady. “But this isn’t something you can just fix, Jungkook. You can’t undo what you’ve done with words or gestures. It’s going to take time, and right now, I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.”

Jungkook’s shoulders slumped, the weight of her words pressing down on him like a heavy burden. He knew she was right, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept. He had always been a man of action, someone who could solve any problem with enough force or determination. But this… this was something he couldn’t control, couldn’t force into submission.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m so damn sorry.”

Y/N looked at him, her heart aching with the truth of their situation. She wanted to believe in him, to think that maybe, just maybe, they could find a way through this. But the pain was still too raw, the wounds too deep.

“Sorry isn’t enough, Jungkook,” she replied softly, but there was no anger in her voice, only sadness. “Not this time.”

With that, she gently pushed past him, stepping away from the balcony’s edge. Jungkook didn’t stop her. He just stood there, staring out at the night sky, the moonlight casting long shadows across the balcony. As she walked back into the mansion, the echo of her footsteps faded into the darkness, leaving Jungkook alone with his thoughts, his regrets, and the realization that he was further from her than ever before.

To be continued...