Protector

chapter 23: emotional

kai and i pulled up to the villa, kai grabbing our bags and taking them into the villa after me

i heard her drop the bags as i turned around

i walked up to her, resting my hand on her cheek and looked into her eyes- trying to find any sort of regret in them

there was nothing but hesitation, i slowly moved my face closed to hers- lips touching the slightest

"you sure?" i whispered as i felt her nod her head

i closed the gap between us, our lips immediately smashing against each others, kais hands sliding down to my waist and pushing me into her

she started to back me into a wall near us, my back pressing against it as i let out a gasp

kais mouth immediately making marks onto my neck

"upstairs?" kai breathed out as i nodded, gripping her hand and dragging her upstairs

she placed me down on the bed and immediately placed herself on top of me

i could still see the hesitation in her eyes, the look that this wasn't really what she wanted

"we can stop if you want kai" i said as her mouth went back to my neck

i felt her shake her head into my neck, her hands gripping tighter onto my waist

i knew she didn't really want this, she would have used her words if she truly didn't want this to stop, i knew it but yet i couldn't stop it

she didn't want this yet she kept going.

i felt empty after we had finished.

this wasn't how it felt normally.

kai would normally wrap her arms around me and tell me how much she loved me and how well i did, but none of that happened tonight

once she was finished she laid next to me, looking up at the roof so she didn't have to look at me

it wasn't how it normally was, there were no praises during it, no hand holding, no reassurance or any soft touch's during it

there was no contrast from the rough kisses, normally there would be a mix of soft and rough but not tonight

all i could hear was kais heavy breathing as i laid there, deep in thought of how i could only imagine this was what it felt like when she use to hook up with any girl

i felt like a hook up.

still now there was a massive gap between us.

i had to get out of here for a second, take myself away from the situation

i knew i was the one who wanted it at first, but now i wish we never did it

i went downstairs and went out into the garden, looking out at the view we had

i heard the door open again and then shut before the sound of footsteps getting closer to me

i felt her hands wrap around my waist as she gently brought me into her, i placed my hand on her bare bicep, only still being in her shorts and a sport bra, and squeezed it gently

"here put this on" she said softly as she handed me one of her t-shirts, still i was only in my pants and bra

i slipped it on, it coming down to the middle of my thigh- finally feeling less exposed