Protector

chapter 7: harsh

lia and i didn't last long after the incident between alessia and i, i couldn't hide it from her.

it didn't feel right.

lucky lia understood and said it was probably best we stayed friends then starting something and risking it ending badly and losing our friendship over it.

it made sense, i didn't really think about that before hand, if we broke up and for some reason it ended badly it would have made it awkward for leah, and i probably wouldn't have been able to spend time with the team very much after.

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i don't know if alessia knows about lia and i not going further with each other, or even if she cares about it if she does know.

i've never really had a relationship before in my life, all i've ever known is one night stands.

i don't know how i'm supposed to act in relationship, if i can even deal with a relationship.

i know they can be very overwhelming and i don't know if that's something i'd ever commit to.

guess it depends on who it's with...

"it's a smart and mature idea mate" leah said as we sat in the kitchen

"i guess so" i said, leah could tell something was off... it was as if she could see my brain going into auto drive

"what's going on in that mind of yours" leah said softly

"you've had relationships before haven't you leah" i said as i made eye contact with her

"yes a few why?" leah said as she sat down opposite me

"what were they like?" i asked

"well they all started off really well, i thought i was in a dream. i'd wake up everyday and be excited to see them, they brought a different side out of me, i went from being moody and not wanting to get out of bed in the mornings to getting out of bed before my alarm has even rung because i was so excited to see them during the day." leah explained

it sounded fun, god even perfect, was this the thing i had been missing out on?

"but eventually they all turned for the worse, lack of communication was a big problem in every single serious relationship i had, became toxic, didn't allow each other space and eventually ended in heartbreak" leah said

ahhh now that's the side of the relationship that puts me off it completely

"but that happened for a reason, that reason was because we weren't right for each other. if you find your person then love will show you how perfect it truly is" leah said, making me cringe but i understand her words

she was saying that the reason her other relationships broke down was because they weren't the right persons for each other and that you'll never experience heart break if you find your person.

"and how do you find your person?" i asked

"well thats something your going to have to figure out. you'll have to start opening that" she says pointing at my heart

"and allow yourself to be vulnerable with other people apart from me, your a caring person kai everyone knows it, you just need to start showing more emotions to people, stop pushing people away when they come to close for your likings" leah said, i instantly dropped my head

i had blown my chance with alessia, she constantly tried to show her vulnerable side to me and every single time i pushed her away.

"it's not too late to get her kai" leah said to me, i made eye contact with her, she gave me a reassuring nod