Dear My Forever,
It has only been a few years since you’ve been gone for good. I regret not letting you know how I waited and longed for you since the day we parted ways for the last time back when we were still in high school. Day by day, you were one of the reasons I always looked forward to coming home. Wherever I go, our memories haunt me to this day. You were the TOTGA with whom I have no closure.
The day you passed away, I got a high fever. I didn’t cry, but I felt cold and numb. Since then, I’ve been silently asking you to visit me. You always come to me in my dreams as if you are still alive, but every time I wake up, I feel empty and miss you even more. Do I miss what I felt when I was with you, or do I miss you? Maybe you were one of the core memories of my past self. You were there when I was still finding out what love is and how to be loved back. Perhaps I kept searching for that same feeling with everyone I met—the excitement of you always coming back to me. Maybe I should have known back then that you were wrong for me, but what I felt for you was genuine. I poured my heart into it. Maybe I regret not knowing better back then, but I forgive myself and you. We were just young and growing at that time. If I were who I am now back then, I’m not sure if I would have done the same things for you, but I am happy to have had you in my life. I’m grateful, and I couldn’t ask for more.
Every Christmas, I always remember you. You have become a part of it. Every part of our house reminds me of you—our little visits, late-night talks, and the excitement and giggles of sneaking around at night just to see and talk to each other. Thank you for making my teenage years blissful and exciting. You were one of the reasons I was motivated to study hard back then. I owe you everything.
I wish you could have lived a bit longer. Even though we didn’t end up together, it’s nice knowing that somewhere out there, I will still keep looking forward to seeing you. Maybe I’ll bump into you accidentally on the streets. You may just be a part of my past, but I will remember you for as long as I live.
Thank you for existing in my life ❤️
YOU ARE READING
Unspoken
PoetryCompilation of my thoughts/poems/emotions I can't express vocally. WARNING: I started writing this compilation when I'm still a teenager, young, a little new to everything, a little curious and still growing up. But as years have gone by, I keep on...
