Finding Peace

DIE DIE DIE!

Jude blinked as he opened his eyes, sitting up and tensing slightly at the sight before him. The dim light of the room revealed Clay, who had been watching over him with a concerned expression. Jude's eyes met Clay's, and he felt a mix of fear and relief. "Hey," Clay said softly, not wanting to startle him. "You're awake."

Jude glanced around, still disoriented. "It's still dark... what time is it?"

He looked at the clock on the nightstand. "About 3 a.m.," he replied quietly. "You shouldn't be up. You need to rest."

Jude's voice was barely a whisper. "Come here."

Clay hesitated for a moment, sensing the tension in Jude's voice. Despite his reservations, he couldn't deny him anything when he sounded so vulnerable. He slowly moved closer, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Jude, his expression filled with cautious concern.

Jude wrapped his arms around Clay's neck, kissing him bitterly. Clay's surprise at the sudden kiss quickly gave way to a bittersweet mix of relief and worry. He responded to the kiss, his arms encircling Jude's waist, but the tension between them was palpable. There was a hint of desperation in Jude's actions, as if he was clinging to him like a lifeline. Clay could feel the pain and turmoil within him, making his heart ache.

As they continued, his hands slowly tugged at Clay's shirt and then moved lower to unfasten his pants. Clay shuddered at Jude's touch, which was both desperate and needy. He allowed him to continue, feeling a deep pang of guilt and helplessness. Clay knew that Jude was seeking comfort and distraction in this act, but it felt hollow and empty—a temporary fix for the pain that was consuming him from the inside.

Clay tried to focus on offering what comfort he could, but everything was too sloppy, too rushed, too desperate. The act felt like a fleeting escape from the deeper, unresolved struggles that were pulling Jude down, leaving Clay alone at the top. The intensity of the moment was a stark reminder of how far they had fallen, and the helplessness Clay felt was almost overwhelming.

The sex was something they both found a little comfort in. And Clay prayed that Jude keeps asking for any sort of comfort from him so he knows he is doing okay. That he is doing okay. That they both are doing okay.