Finding Peace

I Don't Wanna Die..

As the months passed, Jude's once-buried negative thoughts began to resurface, and they did so with a vengeance. The dark feelings that he had hoped would fade away grew stronger, becoming more consuming and disruptive. It wasn't just a matter of persistent thoughts anymore—his behavior started to shift dramatically. He became increasingly withdrawn and distant, prone to sudden outbursts and erratic mood swings. Small annoyances with Clay would escalate into arguments, and he found himself lashing out over insignificant issues. The suppressed negativity that had simmered beneath the surface was now erupting, causing turmoil in their once-peaceful home.

Jude struggled to maintain a façade of normalcy, but the effort was becoming overwhelming. The internal pain he felt was relentless and almost unbearable, seeping into every facet of his life. Clay, ever observant, began to sense that something was seriously wrong, though he couldn't grasp the full extent of Jude's internal struggle. The pressure to keep up appearances was immense, and the dark voice inside Jude grew louder, making it harder to ignore.

One morning, Jude sat picking at his food, his mind a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. Clay sat across from him, almost finished with his own meal. Jude's voice broke the silence, laced with self-deprecation and shame. "Therapy? No... What am I, a kid?" he muttered, unable to meet Clay's gaze. The idea of seeking help felt like a blow to his pride, a sign of weakness he wasn't ready to confront.

Clay's concerned eyes met Jude's, sensing the struggle behind his words. "You don't have to be a kid to need therapy," he said softly, his tone filled with compassion. "It's okay to ask for help, you know...?" His words were gentle, aimed at reassuring Jude that seeking help was a sign of strength, not weakness.

Jude's shoulders slumped slightly, the weight of Clay's words sinking in. He knew deep down that he needed support, but the stubborn pride and fear of vulnerability made it hard to take that step. The conversation hung in the air, a subtle reminder that despite his internal battles, he didn't have to face them alone.