a new era of me

~false fantasy~

I followed Riddle out of the party, trying my best to catch up to his long strides without running. I don't want to run, he's not that important anyway, nor will he ever be.

If we were to put my hatred for him to the side, we would find out that..

My mind remained on him, solely on him.

And the closet incident.

In such an odd way..

The way he had held my waist was something I hadn't felt before. The way he spoke sent shivers through my body.

What was this feeling growing inside of me?

Or rather pit me welling in my stomach.

I had finally caught up to him, as I observed him i noticed the way he seemed.. Conflicted?? And stiff. The tenseness evident in his body.

I wanted to say something but I felt that same conflicting feeling coursing through me.

In a way I felt like I either wanted to push him down the stairs or pull him into a kiss.

I felt a wave of nervousness and anxiety wash over me. My thoughts waved me over, thoughts of what this was, or rather what this is.

Surely it was nothing, but then again it had to be something.

I finally approached him and spoke up.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck!!

I feel so nervous and icky and STRANGE.

"Riddle," I said with a quiet breathy tone.

Why was I out of breath? And why the hell did I feel like my knees were going to fall in.

He turned around, his expression almost unreadable. His jaw clenched and his eyes dark.

I opened my mouth to speak again but nothing came out, absolutely nothing.

"Speak up. Use your words, Adaline." He teased as he took a few steps forward towards me, his voice smooth and low.

He stepped closer to me yet again, trying to cut the distance between us. I could smell the scent of his cologne along with the smell of cigarettes and whiskey. He didn't seem to smell bad though, it seemed nice. Strangely nice, and in a way that seemed rather..

Intoxicating.

A pit grew in my stomach from the way he gazed at me, his dark brown eyes matching the same look of mine, in a way that made the world stop. I felt my stomach flutter my lips part slightly.

No. Not these thoughts.

My thoughts, heart, and whole body felt as if it had ran a marathon.

My mind blank and scattered, I couldn't bring myself to admit to him about the shameful desires I had craved.  So I showed him.

I pulled him into a kiss by his collar aggressively.  Clearly catching him off guard, me too honestly.

He quickly returned the kiss, his hands finding their way and resting on my waist.. Just as they did in the closet.

My heart fluttered strangely at his gesture. A storm of emotions brewing inside of me.

He deepened the kiss, pushing me against the wall and holding onto me tightly.

A feeling of slight desire and anger bubbling inside of me, even vulnerability coursed through me.