~September 8th~
I woke up feeling like shit.
It was literally 2 in the morning.
Many things occupied my mind but the main three that kept resurfacing no matter what I tried were.
The fight.
Draco.
Percy..
Thinking about what had almost happened between Percy and I.. Makes me beyond nauseous.
As soon as I had gotten to my dorm last night, I had began to cry.
I felt horrible for wanting to give into my selfish feelings.
For wanting to kiss Percy.
I got up and grabbed my journal from my vanity before sitting back down on my bed.
Writing felt hard.
Septemper 8th.
I still can't understand why I had almost gave into my selfish needs.
I really am a whore, aren't I?
Theres something wrong with me.
Genuinely wrong with me.
Looking and seeing the best in people, even when they don't deserve it.
Percy for example.
Sometimes I like to think.. No wish, that somehow, somewhere, in another dimension. Percy and I get to be happy. Percy loves me as much as I love him. One where my mother is alive.. One where I got to.. Get to be happy.
One where my father actually was and is a father.
I just wish Percy and I got to be happy.
Why does love hurt?
Why does our love hurt?
Is it me?? Am I really that hard to love??
I mean. In that sense, my father couldn't love me so, how could a guy?
Do I love too much?
Am I not good enough?
Is there nothing good in me worth looking at?
What the fuck is wrong with me???
I closed my journal and tossed it to the side, before flopping down on my bed.
What is wrong with me?
~~~~~~
very short but i'm writing another chapter right now ☝️ -B
YOU ARE READING
a new era of me
FanfictionAdaline Rosewood a quiet judgmental girl who had an epiphany. Big heart turned big ego, She seeks approval and praise from those around her, maybe the wrong type? She then meets Mattheo Riddle and all hell breaks loose ..
