a new era of me

~pass~

i absolutely loved last chapter

~September 3rd~

I actually did not take Pansy's offer, I ended up falling asleep.

I regret that honestly

Because I need to have more fun. I genuinely need to get out there more.

I woke up in Lunas bed, I slept on her bed with her because I wouldn't stop crying last night. So she held me, it had felt a little awkward but I know deep down Luna isn't judging me.

Besides that I did a lot of crying. A lot.

Over what?

Percy.

Merlin he's my first love so this is absolutely hard.

I miss him so much, seeing him completely fine hurts so bad.

Why is he fine while I'm in pain.

It's not fair.

I got off of her bed and sat on mine.

"Adi, I will be attending Percy's, he wants to watch a movie, would you like to accompany me?" Luna asked. smiling lightly and playing with my spinning mirror.

I groaned loudly and laid back on my bed.

"I don't get it Luna! He's fine, he's not heartbroken at all, while I'm absolutely fucking destroyed!" I ranted. "He's literally fine! he's fine fine fine fine FINE." I continued.

"Adi, ple-" Luna began.

"NO! Haven't I given enough in the relationship??Haven't I?! I've done so much for this relationship.  I've put so much into it! It's not fair! I'm tired Luna! I'm getting tired of this! I do nothing but love him and let him do whatever! I'm fucking tired Luna! I'm tired of acting as if I'm okay, because I don't want to seem all BROKEN." I cut her off and continued.

I got off of my bed and stormed off, slamming the door and going to Pansy's  dorm.

"Heyyy!-" Pansy began.

"I need a drink." I said sighing.

The first time I drank was at my surprise party.  I haven't since that day.

Thinking of the surprise party I had so much fun, besides Percy throwing an absolute fit multiple times.

I desperately fucking needed to get my mind off this.

I can't tell if I'm sad or mad.

"Oh! Well what is the occasionnn??" She asked letting me into her dorm.

I took my slippers off and sat on her bed.

"Percy." I groaned, putting my hands on my face.

"Oh merlin....." She sighed.

I laid back on her bed and stared at the ceiling.

"I just-" I began.

"We're gonna need that strong shit, because WOO.." She said looking into her wardrobe.