This Ain't A Fairytale- Lando Norris

22. Two graves, one gun

"I'm sorry, for what I said after the race." Lando said quietly, the words coming out of nowhere.

They hadn't really spoken about it, the argument had come to a very abrupt end at Silverstone when Hannah had suddenly remembered Isla was with them and then realised she was nowhere to be seen.

She'd run off in a blind panic through the paddock looking for their daughter, and by the time Lando had caught up to her at Ferrari there had been so many other people there he hadn't wanted to bring it up.

Instead they'd sat and watched for a little while as Isla had crawled around on the floor playing with Charles and Leo, chatted to Carlos and had a coffee before they made their way home to Monaco.

Carlos had been absolutely insistent that the two of them needed to play golf during the week, him and Rebecca planning to be in Monaco. He'd suggested the girls go and do something for the day, which Hannah had happily agreed to, and he would play golf with Lando. The way Carlos looked at him Lando was left in no doubt that it was because he wanted to get him alone to interrogate him about what had happened.

It hadn't been mentioned again, neither of them wanting to bring it up and upset Isla again. But now they were home, their daughter safely tucked up in bed, Lando knew he had to clear the air. He owed her an apology.

"I would hope so." Hannah sighed. "Where did that even come from? I mean I know you're frustrated but seriously?"

Lando twisted in his seat on the sofa to face her, hands running through his hair as he looked for the words. "I uh... I don't know if I'm going to take the new contract Zak is offering." He said slowly. "I got so in my head about it maybe being my last race at Silverstone and then when I crashed I was so angry with myself. I'm so sorry, it wasn't your fault, I know that."

"Wait, what?" Hannah's brain struggled to catch up with what he was saying. "You want to retire? Where did that come from? Have I not spent the entire afternoon looking at houses in the UK so we can be closer to MTC?"

He shrugged.

"No, don't just shrug your shoulders at me." Hannah rolled her eyes at him. "Use actual words to explain this to me."

"Three years is a long time, Hannah." He said slowly. "Even if we move closer, I'm still away for all the races. Do you really think we'll survive another three years like this?"

She wanted to say yes, of course they would, but she knew he had a point. Moving to Woking was like sticking a bandaid on a bullet hole. The bulk of the time he spent travelling was for the races, which couldn't be avoided. It might make it a bit easier for him to come home inbetween, but they were still talking about him being away for the best part of half of the year.

"Are you thinking about retiring because you genuinely don't want to race anymore?" She asked. "If you took everything else out of the equation, would you still want to do it?"

She knew the answer, his reaction to crashing at Silverstone was not one of someone who'd fallen out of love with the sport and lost his desire to try and win.

"Of course, but I can't take everything else out of the equation." He pointed out. "I love racing, but I love you and Isla more. If I have to give it up to make this work then I can live with it."

Hannah raised an eyebrow at him, because even as he said the words she wasn't sure that she believed him. "I don't want you to have to live with it."

"I'll be fine." He shrugged. "I can't do it forever, I'm not going to end up like Fernando."

"No, but it doesn't mean you have to stop now." Hannah sighed. "Surely Zak will budge on the three years if it comes down to make or break? Or at least put an exit clause in so if it's really not working after next year you can reconsider?"