training wheels. // evan 'buck' buckley

xiii. never be the same

buck couldn't help but feel a strange sense of confusion as he watched me interact with the rest of the 118 crew. i was sitting comfortably on the couch, sandwiched between hen and chimney, laughing at something chimney had said. but something about me was different lately, and it was driving him insane trying to figure out what it was.

i seemed... off. i was more reserved around him, my usual easygoing nature replaced with an awkwardness that made buck uneasy. he caught me glancing at him every so often, but whenever our eyes met, i would quickly look away, as if caught doing something i shouldn't. it had been like this for the past week, and buck was tired of it. he needed to know what was going on.

when bobby walked back into the station, fresh from his late honeymoon cruise with athena, everyone flocked to him. there were hugs, laughter, and questions about the trip. i stood back, watching my uncle with a warm smile, happy to see him back. buck watched me too, noticing the way my gaze lingered on bobby, then flickered to the rest of the crew, and finally, to him. again, i looked away the moment our eyes met.

buck had tried to push his concerns aside, focusing on bobby's return and the stories from the cruise. but his mind kept drifting back to me. he needed to talk to me, to understand what was going on. so when the conversation with bobby died down, and the crew started to disperse, buck decided it was now or never.

he found me sitting at the kitchen counter with eddie, who was probably the person i was closest to, aside from my uncle. eddie seemed to sense buck's approach before he even got there, turning to me with a smile.

"hey, can you grab me some water?" eddie asked, his tone casual.

i raised an eyebrow but didn’t question it. normally, eddie would have gotten up to get it himself, or at the very least, offered to get me something too. but i just nodded, stood up, and headed to the cabinets.

buck took that as his cue, swiftly intercepting me before i could reach for the glasses. he stopped beside me, clearing his throat to get my attention. i turned to him with an awkward smile.

"hey," i greeted, my voice a bit stiff.

"hey," buck replied, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. he tried to keep his tone light, but he couldn't hide the concern that was gnawing at him. "what's up?"

i gave him a puzzled look, tilting my head slightly. "what do you mean 'what's up'? i'm just getting water."

buck's eyes narrowed slightly as he studied me. "i mean, what's up with you? you've been acting... different lately."

i chuckled nervously, focusing on the glass i was holding. "nothing's up, buck. i'm fine."

"come on, don't bullshit me," he pressed, his voice soft but firm.

my hand stilled as i filled the glass with water, my eyes flicking away from him again. "i'm not bullshitting you, buck. really, nothing's up."

but buck wasn’t convinced. he could feel the frustration bubbling up inside him, unable to shake the feeling that i was hiding something from him. "you sure? because you've been acting weird all week. and i can't tell if it's my imagination or not."

i shrugged, trying to play it off. "it's probably just your imagination."

buck's irritation spiked. he hated when people dismissed his concerns, especially when he knew something was off. he moved closer, his voice lowering as he tried to coax the truth out of me. "i doubt it. there's something up with you, charlie. and i want to know what it is."

i glanced over at eddie, as if silently pleading for help, but it only served to irritate buck more. he remembered a few weeks ago when i had shown up at the station looking particularly nice and had left with eddie, leaving buck to wonder what that was about. he hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but now it felt like another piece of a puzzle he couldn’t solve.