training wheels. // evan 'buck' buckley

xxii. no turning back (m.)

tw:
suggestive content ahead.

the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the firehouse as the evening settled in. inside, the 118 was quieter than usual, with most of the crew out on a call or unwinding after a busy day. i was alone in the break room, my hands busy with preparing snacks, though my mind was miles away.

buck had been relentless with his teasing lately, pushing the boundaries of our friendship. his smirks and comments had become almost unbearable, and despite my attempts to brush them off, i could feel the pressure building. the tension between us had become almost tangible, a constant undercurrent that i couldn't ignore.

as i put the finishing touches on a plate of sandwiches, i heard the familiar sound of buck's footsteps approaching. i steeled myself, knowing that he was about to make another one of his infuriatingly charming remarks.

"hey, charlie," buck said, his voice carrying that mischievous tone i'd come to dread. "you've been in here a lot lately. you must really enjoy spoiling us."

i didn't turn around, focusing on arranging the food. "i'm just trying to be helpful. it's not a big deal."

buck leaned casually against the counter, his gaze fixed on me. "you know, i've noticed you've been a little... distant lately. is something bothering you?"

my grip tightened on the plate, my patience wearing thin. "no, buck. nothing's bothering me."

buck's grin widened. "come on, charlie. you can't keep pretending like everything's okay. i see the way you look at me. there's something going on."

i spun around, unable to hide my frustration. "buck, seriously? do you have to keep pushing? i've had enough."

buck pushed off the counter, taking a step closer. "i'm not pushing. i'm trying to understand. you can't just shut me out every time things get uncomfortable."

my frustration bubbled over. i had tried to keep my feelings in check, but buck's relentless teasing had pushed me to my breaking point. "i don't need you to understand. i need you to just be my best friend right now and not the guy i confessed my love for."

buck's expression shifted, the playful glint in his eye replaced by something more intense. he stepped closer, his gaze locked onto mine. "charlie, you know that's not what this is about. we're not just friends and you fucking know it."

the air between us grew heavy with tension. i felt my breath catch as buck's words hit me with a force i hadn't anticipated. his proximity was overwhelming, and i could feel the heat from his body even though he hadn't touched me.

i swallowed hard, my eyes searching his for any sign of reprieve, but his expression remained steadfast, determined. "buck, i don't know what you want from me. you can't keep pushing like this."

buck's expression shifted, his playful demeanor replaced with something more serious. "charlie, we both know there's something more here. we can't just keep pretending like there's nothing between us."

my frustration bubbled over again, my emotions a tangled mess of anger and longing. "you don't get to decide what's going on with me. i'm trying to figure this out on my own."

buck's eyes narrowed, his jaw tightening. "i'm not trying to decide anything. i'm trying to be honest with you. we can't keep doing this dance forever. we need to face what's happening between us."

i felt my breath quicken, the intensity of buck's words and his proximity making it hard to focus. "i don't know what you want from me. this isn't something that can be fixed with a conversation."