training wheels. // evan 'buck' buckley

xviii. shifting focus

my feet carried me into the 118 fire station like they had countless times before. i'd finished an early shift at the dispatch center and decided to drop by, cookies in hand, hoping to catch a few of the team members during a break. the firehouse had become a second home for me, a place where i could temporarily push aside the whirlwind of emotions i'd been trying to bury - especially those surrounding my conversation with buck.

as i approached the kitchen, i heard voices echoing from deeper in the station. the familiar clang of weights from the gym told me the guys were in the middle of their usual training routine. i set the cookies on the counter, grabbed myself a cup of coffee, and slid into one of the chairs at the large dining table, ready to relax for a few minutes before anyone noticed i was there.

it didn’t take long. buck, always one to spot me first, walked in, towel slung over his shoulder, face slightly flushed from exertion. his expression lit up the second he saw me.

“hey! what are you doing here? don’t tell me you’ve finally come to join us in training,” buck teased, a wide grin spreading across his face as he moved to pour himself a drink.

i chuckled, shaking my head. “not a chance. i’ll leave the firefighter stuff to you guys. i’m more of a spectator - and occasional snack provider.”

buck’s eyes drifted over to the counter, where the freshly baked cookies sat, and he made a beeline for them. “cookies, huh? you’re spoiling us, charlie.”

i sipped my coffee, my gaze following him with a mixture of fondness and frustration. “figured you could all use a treat. besides, i owed you for the last time you beat me at darts.”

buck’s smirk widened, but there was something else beneath it, something that hinted at the unresolved tension between them. “i mean, if you’re looking for a rematch, i’m always game.”

i rolled my eyes, trying to keep things light, but buck’s presence made it hard to ignore the elephant in the room. he was still buck.- the same guy i'd always joked around with, the same guy i'd come to trust with almost everything. but since my confession, there was a shift. and even if we both tried to pretend it wasn’t there, it lingered in the spaces between us.

before i could respond, eddie appeared, fresh from the gym, followed by chimney and hen, the two of them laughing about something.

“charlie! you’re just in time,” hen greeted, spotting the cookies immediately. “please tell me those are up for grabs.”

i smiled. “all yours. i figured i’d stop by and check in. see how things were going around here.”

“well, things are better now that you’re here - and the cookies,” chimney quipped, grabbing a couple and taking a seat at the table. “what’s been happening over at the dispatch center? anything exciting?”

“not really,” i replied, leaning back in my chair. “just the usual - lots of calls, lots of chaos, but nothing too out of the ordinary.”

“lucky you,” hen chimed in. “we’ve been running non-stop this week. it’s nice to catch a break.”

as we all settled in, the easy flow of conversation settled over the room, with me enjoying the warmth and camaraderie that came with spending time at the station. it was nice - familiar, comforting, and yet, underneath it all, there was a subtle current of discomfort that i couldn’t quite shake.

later, after the team had gone back to their various tasks, eddie lingered in the kitchen with me. he looked tired - more so than usual. his eyes were shadowed with exhaustion, and his shoulders carried a weight that hadn’t been there before.