training wheels. // evan 'buck' buckley

xlix. so far gone

the station was buzzing with the familiar energy that accompanied buck's return. there was an undercurrent of tension that he couldn't quite shake, and as he took a hesitant step back into the firehouse, the weight of his choices settled heavily on his shoulders. the lawsuit may have been dropped, but the fallout was still evident in the glances cast his way and the quiet exchanges between his teammates.

when he spotted eddie in the locker room, buck’s heart raced as he approached, hoping for a sense of normalcy. “eddie,” he began, his voice soft but tentative, “i know… i know things are weird, but i’m glad to be back.”

eddie glanced up briefly, his face a cold mask of disappointment, before brushing past buck without a word.

the rejection stung, but buck forced himself to keep going. he moved through the station, feeling each interaction - or lack thereof - like a subtle reminder of his own mistakes. he felt a small wave of relief when he reached chimney, who greeted him with a genuine smile and a pat on the shoulder. “welcome back, man. took you long enough.”

buck managed a smile. “feels good to be back, chim.”

just as the initial greetings settled, bobby entered, gathering everyone’s attention for a briefing. buck stood a little straighter, eager to jump back in. but before he could focus on bobby’s words, the alarm blared through the station, echoing with an urgency that silenced everything else.

“everyone, suit up. buck,” bobby’s voice cut through the noise, drawing buck’s attention. “you’re staying behind.”

it wasn’t an order buck could argue with. he stood back, watching as the team moved swiftly, each one a synchronized part of a unit that had learned to function without him. watching them disappear into the engine bay, buck felt the pang of loneliness settle back in his chest.

hours later, the crew returned, and the station had transformed. halloween decorations lined the walls, and there was a lively gathering underway with a halloween party already in full swing. buck, however, was anything but festive as he stood by the entrance, handing out candy to the few kids that had wandered by.

he turned when he heard the familiar shuffle of boots behind him and saw eddie packing away decorations, focused and determined. “need a hand?” buck asked, his voice tentative.

eddie barely looked up, his reply edged with resentment. “i got it. a hundred percent. kind of like how you proved it with the lawsuit.”

buck's chest tightened. he didn’t want to fight. “eddie, i know i messed up. i just… i needed my job back. i missed this. i missed you all.”

eddie continued packing, his movements tense. he finally stopped, straightening up to meet buck’s gaze. “when you decided to sue the department, did you ever think about us? what we would lose? you didn’t just go after some random people, buck. you went after your own family. my family.”

buck took a shaky breath, his voice barely a whisper. “i know. i just… i thought about what i lost and didn’t stop to think about what you’d lose. i’m sorry, eddie. i’m sorry, and i’ll do whatever it takes to make it right. just tell me what i need to do for you to forgive me.”

eddie studied him for a long moment, his frustration slowly giving way to something softer, something almost like understanding. “i forgive you.”

relief washed over buck as he started to reach out, then hesitated, unsure if he should. “thank you. really.”

but just as buck’s relief began to sink in, eddie’s face clouded over. there was something unresolved, a truth he’d been holding back. he looked down, his voice carrying a weight buck hadn’t expected. “i need you to know something. about… about charlie.”