training wheels. // evan 'buck' buckley

xlv. you haven't lost everything

later that evening, i was sitting on the couch in my apartment, nursing a half-empty glass of wine. i’d told myself i was only going to have one glass, but that resolve had quickly crumbled. the apartment was quiet, too quiet, and the weight of everything was pressing down on me, suffocating.

i hadn’t expected anyone to come by, so when there was a knock at the door, i froze, unsure of what to do. part of me wanted to ignore it, to pretend i wasn’t home, but something told me to answer.

when i opened the door, bobby stood there, looking concerned but calm, his eyes scanning my face. “charlie,” he said softly. “can i come in?”

i hesitated for a moment, then stepped aside, letting him in. i hadn’t seen much of bobby since the breakup. it felt awkward, knowing that buck was suing him, and i didn’t know where i stood anymore. but now, seeing bobby in my apartment, i realized just how much i needed him.

bobby took a seat on the couch, glancing at the nearly empty bottle of wine on the coffee table. his expression darkened slightly, and for a moment, it looked like he was going to say something about it, but he held back.

“charlie,” he started, his voice quiet but firm. “i’m worried about you.”

i sank down onto the couch beside him, my hands shaking slightly as i set my glass down. “i’m fine,” i lied.

bobby shook his head. “no, you’re not. i remember the last time you were like this... when you and buck had a falling out before. i remember buck telling me he found you drunk, barely able to stand. if he hadn’t shown up that night...”

i flinched, the memory crashing over her like a wave. i had been reckless back then, spiraling, and if buck hadn’t found me... i didn’t want to think about what could have happened.

“this... this reminds me of my own mistakes,” bobby continued, his voice soft but filled with emotion. “the times i let my pain and my grief take over. and i can’t... i won’t let you go down that path.”

tears welled up in my eyes, and i quickly wiped them away, trying to keep it together. but the dam was breaking, and i didn’t know how much longer i could hold it in.

“i don’t know what to do,” i whispered, my voice cracking. “i broke up with buck because i couldn’t take it anymore, but now... now i just feel like i’ve lost everything.”

bobby reached out, placing a comforting hand on my back. “you haven’t lost everything, charlie. you still have us - me, the team, maddie, josh. we’re all here for you.”

i nodded, tears streaming down my face now, no longer able to hold them back. bobby pulled me into a gentle hug, letting me cry into his shoulder, offering me the quiet support i so desperately needed.

“you’re going to be okay,” bobby said softly, his voice steady and reassuring. “i promise.”

i hadn’t realized how much i needed this - bobby’s steady presence, his calm and quiet support. it felt like being wrapped in a safety net when i had been free-falling for so long. his words lingered in the air, and for a moment, the crushing weight of my emotions lightened.

as the sobs began to subside, i pulled back slightly from the hug, wiping my tear-streaked face with the back of my hand. bobby remained seated beside me, still keeping a gentle hand on my back, his expression soft but serious.

“you’re stronger than you think,” bobby said quietly, his voice full of fatherly warmth. “i know it feels like the world’s falling apart right now, but you’ve been through tough things before. this - what’s going on with buck, the lawsuit, everything - it’s not going to break you.”