unconditional love

Chapter 17-feelings

Avi P.O.V

"Hey Avi, can we finish our conversation now?" It's Scott. He won't let it go.
"Now? It's late. Did you let Kirstie in safe? How is she?"
"Too many questions Kaplan. She is in her home now. She insisted that we could go and she wanted to be alone. So, we left. Not before making sure she was fine, of corse."
"Ok."
"So..Avi, How long?" I can see his curiosity behind the phone.
"How long what Scott?"
"How long have you been in love with her?" He asks directly.
I take a deep breath.

"Few weeks before she started dating Jeremy."

"What?? Why didn't you tell us? And I made she stay in your place for days!"
"Don't worry, ok? With time, I learned to handle this pretty well."
"Oh..ok. I know it's late, but I want to tell you one thing. I understand what you're going through. It must be hard, feeling this way about our bandmate and friend, and seeing her every day. She is very upset right now and she needs her friends, nothing else. But I don't think you should give up. Just wait...Maybe one day she can love you too. And I only tell you this because you are a great guy Avi. I know you could take care of her and be good for her. Just, be pacient."
I didn't expected for his reaction. It's better than I thought.
"Thank you Scott. It means a lot to me. Don't worry. I won't let her know yet. I'll be her friend, like I always was. Maybe if one day she feel the same way about me, I will be the best for her. I want to see her happy."
"I know you will. Ok. That's it. Oh..and i'm not going to tell this to Mitch. . You can do this yourself when you're ready.
"Sure. Only Kevin knows, ok?"
"Ok. Nice talk to you. Bye Avi. See you tomorrow."
"Bye Scott. And...thank you. For everything."
I can't sleep now, thinking about my talk with Scott. He really think that exist a possibility? Not now, I know. Calm down Avi. Be carefull. She needs you as a friend. And definitely she don't need to know about your feelings. Not now, at least..
*******

Kirstie P.O.V

I'm officially alone.
I lock the door of my apartment and it's so empty. I sit in my bed, that i used to share with jeremy. I stay there just looking around, without knowing what to do. Now I'm allowed to be depressed. All the memories of jeremy here, our rotine, we making love in this very bed..and I remember of our fight too. I can imagine him and that zoe again. The pain hits me so strongly!
I feel my body lose its strengh and i lay down on the bed, starting to cry, until I feel sleepy. I'm embraced with my phone, when i hear it rings once. I wait a minute, cause I'm too lazy, even to see who it is.
It's s message from Avi.
"Hey. Are you still awake? just wanna know if you are doing well." Such a gentleman.
"Hey. I'm still awake. Don't worry, Avi. I'll be fine soon."
"Ok then. Just for you know. I'm here for you. Whenever you need me."
"Thank you! You're a good friend."
I miss Avi's company already. I feel so safe with him, almost like if he wouldn't let nothing hurt me.

*******

These days before Christmas are running fast. We have some events to go. We are pretty buzy, so I don't have time to think in anything else.
Every day I avoid being alone in my place, so I'm always with the guys, hanging out after work. Then, when I come home, I only go to bed and sleep.
There are one thing that can make me feel better before sleeping. Avi's messages and calls. Almost every day, he sends me a message of comfort, or he just calls me. There's nothing too mutch about it. But the weirdest is that suddenly, I catch myself waiting anxiously for these little messages. It's messing with my brain.
When we are in interviews, or performances, or even in our rehearsals, he almost don' talk to me. But when he talks, he is always so sweet, and caring and gentle.
I should worry about the efect he is causing in me. How I've been depended on him lately. But I really don't care. He's helping me a lot. He has been my base, who avoids that I fall again.

*******
Tomorrow we're going to NY for our last performance before Christmas. I love performing. When I'm on the stage, I can forget my problems, and enjoy the moment with my best friends.

Today we 'll have a day off. So I decided that I would be lazy all day long. Just watching movies, and eating. i'm tired so I deserve it!

It's 10 am and I'm thinking what I'll cook for lunch. What should I do just for me?

My phone starts to ring. I pick it up from the desk. It's Avi. I catch myself smiling.

"Hey Avi!"

"Hey you. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. You?"

"I'm fine too. So, are you hungry? I was going to a restaurant that I saw last week, and maybe you want to go with me?"

I don't know what to answer. Do I want to go with him?

"Don't worry Kirstie. It's just for lunch. It's because I don't want to go alone, and Kevin is with his date, so.." Maybe he notices my doubt.

"Sure." I answer quickly.

"What? Do you wanna come?" He asks like if he doesn't believe.

"I want to go with you."

"Great. I'll pick you up at 12. It's good for you?"

"It's great for me."

*******

When I leave the building, he is already there. His car is parked right in front of my building, and he is standing, leanning against his car. I need to admit that he is very handsome now. He is wearing black pants, and a white shirt. When I hug him, and smell his cologne, I don't want let go of his embrace.

During our lunch we talk about everything, and everytime he captures my eyes, I feel something in my stomach. He is just being friendly as always. Why now I have to feel this way?

I'm so catch at the moment, that when he pulls over his car in front my place again, I don't think twice and ask if he wants to what a movie with me. After he think well, he agrees.

While we're watching Harry Potter, I feel right to lean my head in his shouder. It's so comfy...

When the movie is finished, He stands up telling me that he should go.

"Already?" I ask, actually, without knowing what else he would do in here.

"Yeah..I need to go..We have a full day tomorrow and we should have some rest don't you think?"

He is smiling and we're standing so close to each other that I even can feel again his smell and it's so good.

I don't know what came to me, but in one second I close the gap between us and kiss him.

He kisses me back but with a very soft kiss, so gentle, with only one hand in my head.

And faster than I wanted, he pulls away from our kiss.

"You don't want this, Kirstie..." He's very serious, looking into my eyes.

I, again, don't know what to say, because, I don't know what I want. I'm staring at him, thinking in a answer, when my phone rings too loud, interrupting the moment.

"You should pick it up..and I should leave now." He gives a quick kiss in my forehead and leaves..