Chapter 4: Little Wine!
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*Faifah's wine list: Wine Brothers - thằng /eat/ Older brother /phi/ in /nong/ Wine
If I were to mention the beginning of my long-term friendship with Janjob, it would probably have to go back to high school. We knew each other from being roommates among people with the same daring ideal, which was to skip the horticulture class that we absolutely hated.
Me and Jay, we've been through a lot together, both good and bad. Then that courage made our relationship even stronger than before. For a long time, each person has their own life. From flirting with girls, having a first lover, falling in love, even when his mother kicked him out of the house for playing too much video games, my family let him stay and sleep over.
We never had any secrets from each other, even if it was so embarrassing that we wanted to bury it deep in our memories, we didn't care. But there is one thing that I have never dared to tell him directly, even when we have been friends for a long time. That's my sexual orientation. Many times I have gathered all my courage to tell the truth, but then it always fails due to being too scared to say it.
Afraid of being disappointed, afraid of not receiving acceptance, afraid that we will no longer be friends, afraid of many other things because I know for sure that I cannot change my preferences.
Step forward with my legs, moving my body to sit at the end of the bed. My eyes still looked down at the floor because I didn't want to see his disappointed eyes.
"I..." My throat was so dry that I felt as uncomfortable as swallowing a handful of sand, and even making a sound was extremely difficult.
"It's okay, there's no need to tell me. Come on, you can talk when you're ready." As soon as I heard those words, I quickly raised my face and looked at my tall best friend without blinking.
"Jay, I'm sorry."
"What the hell?"
"Because I always hide it from you." The listener remained silent, showing such a calm expression that it was impossible to guess what mood he was in. "The truth is that I stopped loving Toey a long time ago. Damn, I was selfish for dragging Toey in."
"Why do you have to go to such an extent?"
"Because I'm afraid everyone will know I don't like girls."
"If you don't like girls, what's wrong?" The voice that answered was a bit annoyed. I can see that Jay is really angry. "Your mistake is that you lied about getting to know Toey while you yourself liked her brother."
"I didn't lie. At first I really liked her. But I didn't think one day it would change." At this point, it should be like that. "And you know what, there are so many ways I try to forget Toey. It's not because I want to forget she abandoned me, but just because I want to forget the sins I did to her. "
Even if I guessed the reason why I was dumped, I just didn't dare say it. I don't dare to show my face and say sorry to the other person directly, because I'm too cowardly to accept myself.
"At that time, I was confused when I saw her brother. Why did I have such feelings for her brother? I didn't know what to do so I just kept my mouth shut."
Deceive yourself, deceive everyone. But just like, there will be no secrets in the world, one day someone will know. It's just a matter of whether people say it or not.
"It's not just about Toey." The friend spoke in a tired tone. "Do you know what else I'm angry about?"
I shook my head, pouted, and was ready to cry. Goodbye to many years of friendship, it ends this time.
