The Lost De'Luca

Chapter Sixty Eight

Matteo's pov-

I was nervous at first to tell Gabriella about my past but she put me at ease with her words. Over the years I was never able to tell anyone what really happened, I was scared they'd just judge me.

That they'd think I'm disgusting, but she reassured me that she wouldn't judge me. She made me feel safe enough to share my deepest darkest secrets with her.

Earlier I was sure I was going to be left alone to deal with my demons but she helped me when everyone else just stood there. I don't blame them for not doing anything but I just wanted that reassurance from someone and she gave it to me.

I will never know how she became so mature. Her eyes, they hold so many secrets, pain that she tries so hard to hide but I can see it, I can feel it because I've been there.

Trying to convince everyone and myself that I'm fine as I drown deeper in my pain and self pity. I want to know what happened with her but I don't want to push her.

"Bambina?" I called out softly and she turned to me with a curious look on her face.

"How did you know how to help me?. You seemed really experienced, you knew exactly how to calm me down. How did you know how to do all that?" I asked slowly, not trying to overwhelm her.

I watched as her expression changed, her gaze became harder and she looked down at the floor, clenching her jaw tightly.

"You don't have to tell me. I just want to make sure you're fine" I said quickly, afraid that she was angry at me.

"It's fine. I just need a minute to arrange my thoughts" she said softly, fiddling with her fingers.

"Take your time" I said and moved away from her slightly, wanting to give her space.

I gazed at her from far away and noticed her hands tremble ever so slightly, her chest moved up and down quickly.

"Bambina please calm down. You don't have to tell me, fuck I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have asked" I rushed out.

"I'm fine. I trust you enough to tell you, you told you your darkest secret. It's only fair I tell you mine too" she said and I shook my head.

"You don't have to feel pressured just because I told you. You don't have to feel like you need to tell me, you really don't have to" I said and grabbed her hand.

She turned towards me and my heart clenched at the sight, her eyes held so much pain, it hurt to look at her in this state.

"I want to tell you but can you please promise me you won't say a word about this to the others?" She asked and I nodded immediately.

"I swear on your life. I will never speak about this with anyone" I assured her and she took a deep breath. I stayed quiet and allowed her to gather her thoughts.

"My life with mom was different from what I told you guys" she started and I kept quiet, listening to her intently.

"Everything was good until mom brought Luke home one day. Something about him didn't feel right, he made me feel uncomfortable everytime he came over.

Whenever mom wasn't around us, he would beat me. He said he couldn't stand my face, he told me I was ugly. Mom would often leave me with him and he never failed to make my life a living hell.

I never knew what I did that was so bad to make him hurt me the way he did, he would whip me, carve disgusting words unto my body, starve me. Try to drown me, if I didn't make food for him on time he would punish me.

He punished me for the silliest things, he took pleasure in breaking me. He shattered whatever hopes and dreams I had. One time he tried to sell me off when mom was away all because I tried to tell her what he was doing.