Lost in Love | LingOrm (GxG)

19 - She Shows Her Love, Why Can't You See That?

"P'Ling"

"Hmm?"

"I know this is kinda random, but I want to let you know, loving you feels so easy and natural for me."

I froze when I heard those warm words coming from Orm. But then, my mind always finds ways to ruin my mood by giving me flashbacks that remind me of my own pain before.

/

"You know, loving you is so hard, Lingling."

"W-why are you saying that?"

"You never show your feelings to me. Not even sadness, anger, or anything. Love? I don't know if you ever feel that because I can't feel your love."

He then sent his last message to me before he left. "Melt those icy hearts of yours, you're not only making yourself suffer, but you're also making others who love you suffer more."

/

My mind seems to not feel satisfied enough with torturing me though as some hateful comments also start to swarm inside my head.

Lingling is so rude to Orm, how can she not react to any of her skinship?

How can Lingling toss away Orm's hand when she's just trying to hug her?

She's a liar, she hides that relationship for her own benefit. We need to protect Orm from her.

Lingling seems to distance herself from Orm lately, what's her problem?

"P'Ling...Tee rak? Are you alright?" My lover's voice awakened me as I realize I am having a panic attack right now so I try hard to catch my breath.

Drinking the warm water that Orm gave me, I feel her soft touch around my back to calm me down. "My Ling, do you need me to do anything else? Just ask away, alright?"

Shaking my head weakly, I finally can breathe normally although my chest still hurts. Orm seems to notice it as she starts to ask me to breathe with her so my breathing pace can be slower and calmer. Her hand rubbing gently on my chest also helps me a lot.

"Are you hurting anywhere else, Tee rak?"

I touch her bare shoulder with my nose as I let out a big sigh. "My heart."

"What? Do you need to go to the hospital now?"

I immediately cup her cheeks to lessen her panic as I utter, "Not literally, baby. I mean my fragile heart is emotionally hurt."

Her eyes then turn super soft when she heard that as she looks into my dark orbs tenderly, bringing flowers to the dull garden inside me.

Orm does not ask me to explain more, she just embraced me in her arms but also being careful to not hug me too tight, worrying I'd find it hard to breathe.

"Sometimes, I'd like to just make your pain disappear, P'Ling. How come someone so pure like you is hurting?"

Don't cry, Ling. Don't.

"I noticed you seem to be out of yourself lately and when I saw you looking so serious at the comments the other day, I know something is up. You'd always say you don't care about the haters and have your own way to rebel, so what makes it different this time, love?"

I then feel her lips kissing mine to show her support when she notices me going silent for a while. Closing my eyes as I kiss her back tenderly with the same gradual pace, the flowers that she planted in my garden start to bloom beautifully as the butterflies also fly around joyfully.

Rubbing our noses together affectionately, I know I am now ready to tell her.

"Because those hateful comments involve you, my love."

I stare back at her beautiful brown eyes and continue, "It's about my interaction with you in public, how I'd not react or reciprocate your touch, or how I'd seem so cold and tend to have a gap with you. That makes me ponder, too. Am I really that bad with showing my affection towards you?"

"Also, those words from my ex that I've told you resurfaced again; how my cold behavior would also affect the other people that I love, I'm afraid I also make you feel like that, Nong."

Orm never leaves her eyes from mine and the softness in her gaze turns even more gentle if that's even possible. Her hands also soothingly caress the small of my back to show me that she's here for me. She's that caring and affectionate towards me.

All of the little things called love that she is showing me right now, remind me again that my Nong Orm is not like the 'other people'. She's a truly beautiful lady inside and out who loves me so much.

And love, can conquer it all. It can easily make you want to understand your lover more, no matter how hard it is to understand her because she might not even understand herself.

"Do you think it's easy to love yourself, P'Ling?"

I look at her to let her know I want to listen to her words more.

"I know you put me first because you love me so much, I also tend to do that, but what I don't want to see is you losing yourself in the process, love."

"You're a fighter, you always show them the real you. You're always being your authentic self even in front of the camera. It's just you, P'Ling. And it's the same when it comes to interacting with me."

Orm then lift my jaw gently so she can give me a peck on my lips. "If you're not ready to show your affection to me in public, don't rush it. Who cares if they interpret it as 'rude'? I know for sure my lover here loves me so much that she always cares about me, every second of the day, no matter the situation."

Her soothing voice makes me adore her more. I want to listen to her all the time.

"P'Ling would proactively ask the staff to bring me a blanket to cover my bare legs when the camera is not shooting at her face. My Ling would make sure I'd not hit anything in front of me because she knows how clumsy I can be when I'm getting too excited. My Tee rak would give up her jacket for me although she is just left with a thin piece of clothing. They didn't see it because it is not directly shown on camera but the most important part is..."

"I've felt it, Lingling. Loving you is easy because I feel your love fully towards me, even if you don't notice it. Because being naturally caring and giving your love through little things in life is far more precious than grand gestures, P'Ling. So, don't ever doubt yourself again, alright?"

"Even if you do, just tell me, I'll always remind you how soft-hearted and heartwarming you are over and over again, Tee rak."

After those heartfelt words coming from her, my Nong wipes my tears away while still gazing at me with her loving eyes.

Biting my lower lip, I close my eyes and kiss her forehead for a moment. "You're so precious to me, Nong Orm. You can bring pieces of me together with your love. You can heal my deepest wounds. And you can make me feel the utmost joy that I've never felt before."

Kissing her lips softly, I feel her intertwining our fingers together that make my heart feel so warm.

"I love you the most, Nong Orm. And I'll tell you over and over again."

"I love you the most, P'Ling. Just the way you are."

===