It Doesn't Even Matter

The possibility

I'm shoveling cereal into my mouth, trying desperately to wake up more and ignoring the twins fighting, when suddenly there's a knock at the door and mom stands. "I'll get it, you all finish eating," Leaving the room it's only a second later that she calls for me and all three of us freeze in place. "Max! Your ride is here!" My what?

"Your ride? Are you driving with Brit?" Sam says it to me even though it's directed at Drew. They've been fighting all morning over something stupid and she's clearly trying to rub it in his face. "Did you hear me Drew, I said that Max is probably riding with-" My chair squeaks when I stand not paying attention to whatever else she has to say.

"Don't know, see you later."

"Oh no, I have to see who actually decided to give you a ride, especially if it's not Brit." Drew stands up with her to follow me. They are making way too big of a thing out of this, and it's making my skin squirm. I don't like the attention, and I hate the way I'm letting them make me feel so small. Of course, no one would want to be seen giving me a ride. I'm too different and weird. My mind starts to spin around everything the twins could be seeing that's wrong with me. There's so much, too much. I can't let myself continue down this path right now or I'll fall into a place I can't come back from. Clearing my throat I try to pretend I can't hear what Sam's saying about me now and keep heading to the door.

It's not Brit. I stop and raise my eyebrow at Sofie as she smiles over my mom's shoulder at me while she listens to her talk. I was expecting Brit. I wasn't expecting Sofie in a cheerleading uniform, casually leaning against the door and making conversation with my mom.
The twins finally stop arguing long enough to catch up with me and look even more confused than I feel. The pits back in my stomach and it's dropping fast. Don't spiral out, not here, not now. Drew cuts in before I can and interrupts Sofie mid-sentence like he didn't even hear them talking. "Sofie, you're here for Max? Seriously?" Don't go there. Don't let it get to you.

"Hi guys," she waves at the twins before turning her attention fully to me obviously not planning to continue speaking to them. "Ready to go Max? Sorry, I'm here a little early but cheer practice got moved up to this morning."

"Don't worry about it. I'm ready now so it's fine." The twins don't say anything else and just stare as I make my way over to her. I stop to hug Mom on my way past and I'm grateful for the quick, quiet goodbye. We even make it out the door and down the step, almost to Sofia's car, so so close. I feel so stupid for thinking that would be it. I should know better by now. No one in this whole town seems to be able to keep their opinions to themselves, especially about me. I shouldn't be surprised when Sam steps out behind us. But I am.

"Sofie come on, you really want to show up at school with him. What will people think? You're supposed to be our captain. You can't seriously think this is a good look." My heart clenches and retracts into itself. Curling up inside me, making me feel more and more insignificant. She's right. It won't be a good look, especially if she's the captain. I'm putting her in a bad spot. Don't go there Max, don't go there. She likes you, she wants to be seen with you.  She, she maybe sort of wants to be your friend. Sofie stops and turns back to Sam before I can tell her to leave it be.

"You know what Sam? I completely forgot you're part of MY squad. My bad, I really should have remembered you since you're always trying to climb your way to the top of my pyramid but never can. I guess I just need to get better at looking down on people. Oh oops, sorry! That is sooo not what I meant! I just meant looking down to see you there from my place in the stack. I hope you don't actually feel looked down ON because I forgot you! I would never want you to feel that way!" She pauses just long enough for Sam to start to open her mouth before continuing. "Wait! Maybe that's your problem! Why you always fall when you try to climb to the top?! You're always looking down on everyone instead of up at them, aren't you! We figured it out! That's good for you to know. Now you can try to fix it. I really am sorry I forgot you though. But to be fair to me," she stops again looking Sam up and down. "It looks like you forgot yourself since you aren't even dressed yet. See you at practice, Sam. Don't be late to our first one or I might just have to cut you." Drew's and I's mouths are hanging open like fish as we watch the two girls in front of us and Sam slowly shrink more and more into herself. I've never seen Sam speechless. Sofie's cut throat! I've never seen anything like it. She let Sam have it, she defended me and told her off. She's my friend. Brit still made me a little nervous because of Drew's reactions whenever she came up. But this felt for sure like what I remembered as a friend.