Hades X Maleficent headcanons💜💙

Judgement

"For the 100th time, just because you didn't physically hurt your kids or cheat, doesn't mean you were a good person in your life!" Hades reiterated for what seems like the millionth time. He slumped back in his throne, his head in his hand frustrated that this soul won't take the hint.

"But I was good! I was loyal! I stuck around! I never hit anyone!" The soul argued.

"But you were an animal abuser, you verbally abused your wife and kids and yelled at costumer services representatives for just doing their jobs! You were not a good person and you can march your way down to the field of punishment!" Hades barked, throwing the souls file away somewhere. The soul swore at hades before doing as he was told and headed to his realm. Hades rubbed his temples annoyed, "gods these souls are getting more and more stupid."

"Clearly."

Hades quickly turned around and saw Maleficent standing in the doorway. "Hey lotus flower, when did you get here?"

"Few minutes ago." She answered, walking over to him. "Is this what you do all day? Sit here and judge souls?"

"Yes." He sighed tiredly. "It can get pretty boring and tedious, but it has if upsides."

"Like?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

Hades sat up a bit and patted his lap, signaling for Maleficent to have a seat. She walked over and sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck while he wrapped his arm around her waist. "Watch and learn lotus flower." Hades motioned to pain and panic, who were both in several casts, to bring the next soul in. "When I tell you, pull that lever behind you." Maleficent looked at the random lever beside Hades throne.

"What's it for?"

"You'll see."

A soul walked into the throne room, a middle aged woman with a Karen hair cut if that tells you anything about her, and immediately started giving hades an attitude. "You need to get me out of here! There's been a mistake, I shouldn't be here!" She screeched.

Hades rolled his eyes and looked at the file that magically appeared on the armrest of his throne. "Well you're half right." Hades said. "You're supposed to be in hell."

"No I'm not! I never did anything wrong!" The woman argued.

"Did nothing wrong?" Hades says, a hint of 'let's test that statement' in his voice as he read through the souls file. "You neglected your 6 daughters and only paid any interest and attention to your son; claiming he was your only point of living and actively told your daughters you wish they were sons." He angrily threw the file at the souls feet. "You are lucky you don't belong in my domain, or you'd invite a whole new version of dead. Lotus flower do the honor." He told her, leaning back in his throne and motioned to the lever he previously mentioned.

Maleficent pulled the lever and a trap door opened under the souls feet. "It's not that baaaaahhhhh!" She screamed on the way down.

Hades sighed, "fucking boy moms"

"The fuck was that?" Maleficent asked.

"That is what I deal with all day, I be it slightly different situation." Hades told her.

"....and you chose to go to high school instead!?" She playfully yelled at him. "The fuck is wrong with you!?"

Sorry for the short chapter, writers block is a bitch