Just the two of us

Can't get him back

Today was different.

Hyunjin felt so drained to the point where he couldn't move a muscle.

He felt like something was wrong with him. Maybe he was sick.

But he just couldn't bring himself to leave his bed.

He knows where this is going.

It's happening again.

It's been almost three weeks since Felix had left him, and Hyunjin has no idea what to do anymore.

At first, it started as him missing the older, longing for him. For his voice. For his face. For his touch. For his teasing. For literally anything.

Hyunjin had just wanted to see him.

Then, it turned into frustration. Hyunjin got frustrated - not at Felix - at himself.
He got frustrated at himself for not being able to keep the one person who showed interest in him.

For the first time in his life, someone actually wanted him, and Hyunjin couldn't keep him. Couldn't take care of him. Couldn't love him.

His frustration was out in tears. He'd spend hours stuck in his room, curled on his bed, crying his heart out. Calling the demon's name in the hope that maybe he'll hear his cries and he'll come back.

But nothing happened. Felix didn't come back. And Hyunjin just couldn't bring himself to do anything anymore.

Nothing was worth it.

¡!¡!¡!¡

The six boys stared at each other. Sharing confused and concerned looks.

They were worried.

Jisung cleared his throat, taking it upon himself to make the first move.

"Hey, Jinnie.....is everything okay?"

The said guy did not raise his head from where he rested it on top of his arms.

He only gave his friend a thumbs up.

Jisung looked at the other boys.

Something was wrong with Hyunjin, and they knew it.

Cause this is not how he usually behaves.

Yes, he ignores them most of the times and he usually doesn't say much. But this time is different.

Hyunjin hadn't shown up to school for days (and even if he did come, he spent the whole lecture sleeping). The first time they saw him after days was today, in a party of one of their seniors. (Jisung may or may not had to drag the guy here unwillingly)

The moment he got here, Hyunjin had started chugging down alcohol like his life depended on it.

Then he just sat at the bar stool and rested his head between his arms, as if he was trying to hide from something.

It got them worried. Especially Jisung.

"Ugh.....hey, i know you really dont want to talk to us, but we are still friends, Hyunjin. If something is bothering you......talk to us."

Chan spoke next.

Hyunjin finally looked up. His eyes were puffy, as if he had been crying for a long time.

He looked at the six men before fixing his eyes on the oldest of them all.

"It's not like you actually care."

His voice was hoarse. And it made Jeongin's heart break a little because he had never seen his friend in this state before.

"Of course we care, hyung."

The youngest said.

Hyunjin felt the familiar tightness in his chest. As if his heart was fighting against his ribs. Trying his best to break through them and leave. Leave him. Leave Hyunjin empty. Follow the only person who had made him happy.

"Hyunjin........is it about that boy? Are you like this because he left?"

Minho tried his best to choose his words carefully. Not wanting to upset the other anymore.

Yet still, the words made Hyunjin stare at him with watery eyes and a hurt look on his face.

It broke Minho in all the worst ways.

"So what? So what if im like this because he left? Is it that bad that i want him back?"

It was the first time Hyunjin had admitted out loud his eagerness for Felix. Surprisingly enough, it made him feel somewhat good.

"No, it's not bad that you want him. Im not blaming you. But you could ask for help if you're not feeling okay -"

"Can you bring him back?"

Minho went silent.

"Exactly, you can't. So dont come here telling me to reach out for help when there is nothing I or you could do that will make me feel better. Because you can't fucking bring him back to me, and that's the only fucking thing that i want!"

¡!¡!¡!¡

Hyunjin walked with his hands in his pockets. He tried taking in deep breaths, trying his best to just stop these pathetic sobs from leaving his tight throat.

He had left the party after that 'argument ' (if he even could call it that) with his friends.

It's stupid, he knows.

They just wanted to help. Minho just wanted to help him.

But Hyunjin strongly believes that there is nothing that they -or literally anyone at this point- could do that will help him.

He just want Felix. Is it too much to ask for?

He ran a hand through his hair.

This is getting frustrating. Hyunjin is getting frustrated.

Why is it that everytime he thinks that his life is finally good, something has to happen?

Why can't he just live a normal life like everyone else?

Fate is really not on his side, and to be honest, he should know this by now.

He wiped his tears, trying to get his vision clear again.

Just as his eyes adjusted to the sight he caught a glimpse of a familiar face.

Too familiar.

He thought he was hallucinating but the shocked look on the other's face when their eyes locked was too real.

Maybe Hyunjin was going crazy, but he was certain this time it wasn't just in his head.

Though, it didn't take the other guy long before he started moving. Away. Away from Hyunjin. Far away so that he couldn't reach him.

And Hyunjin knows that this is his last chance. He can't let him go.

So he ran.

He ran after him even if he looked stupid as fuck to the outside world.

He ran after him because right now that's his only choice.

Right now, that's his only hope in getting back his will to live.