Strangers in the night

38

Pain. Lots of pain. Pain in her chest, pain in her head...lots and lots of pain. But she was warm. Meredith Grey was warm. Warm and safe and...Derek. She felt the same way she felt when Derek was holding her. And then yesterday came back to her in a whirl. Pile up, hoping to help, her own car getting hurt, lots of pain, and Derek. Derek saying things. Derek holding her.

She definitely remembered the terrified look on Derek's face when he had finally gotten into her hospital room and the gentle way he had ran his hands over her, doing his own exam because he didn't want to leave her health in the hands of anyone else. And she had vague memories of him yelling to people that she couldn't go home and then him insisting that he had to stay with her. And Mark had made a rude comment. Not that she remembered it, but he definitely had.

And then everything was blurry. Because of the morphine. She remembered Derek carrying her, holding her close as he gently whispered to her. And safe. She felt safe. Or maybe that was just now. Now she felt safe. Safe and in pain, but definitely safe. And then something else from last night. Something big while she was in and out of sleep, something that made her feel even safer than Derek's arms.

He had said it. Derek had said he loved her. She had been half asleep and he had been holding her closely but gently and he had whispered into her hair that he loved her. Was in love with her. Which seemed kind of impossible. He wasn't in love with her. He couldn't be in love with her. It had probably been the drugs. The drugs causing the most amazing dream.

Morphine made people imagine things. And say things, but definitely imagine things. And she had just imagined it. She had been on the drugs and in pain and she had imagined him saying things in her hair. She had wanted him so badly to say it. She had spent the entire night before wishing he had said it, or wishing she hadn't said it that the morphine made her think he had it.

It definitely hadn't actually happened. Although even now he was still holding her close, and somehow gently which she had no idea how he was managing it but it felt good so she wasn't going to complain. And his legs were tangled up in hers and his warm breath was running along her neck. He definitely wasn't acting like he was still freaking out about anything. He felt at peace.

But that could mean anything. They hadn't been talking. She had been avoiding him and he had been stressed with his mom and sister and everything. They hadn't been them at all and this...this was them. Except there was something about the way he was holding her that was more than them. But still...it probably hadn't happened. The pain was making her imagine things.

"Mer?" he murmured softly, his arm tightening ever so slightly around her. She hadn't even noticed him waking up. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah," she breathed, suddenly afraid to move to face him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly, placing a soft kiss on her neck. Which could mean things. It could. But it wasn't the first time he had done it.

"I..." she took a deep breath and then winced as her ribs protested.

"Mer?" he asked suddenly shifting so he was looking down at her. "Are you okay? Where does it hurt?"

"Just...my ribs," she breathed. "It's...I'm fine, Der."

"No, you're not. Do you need meds?"

"I...I think so," she nodded gingerly. "Just...tylenol or something."

"I can do that," he nodded, running a hand gently along her hair, his fingers lightly playing against the bandage Mark had place on her forehead. "Normal strength or something stronger?"