What Love Feels Like

Seven | Nostalgia

The weekend flew by and I was back with my school week routine. At least I can say that I enjoyed my weekend a lot.

And, I spent it with my friends. My new friends.

I really wish I could tell someone about this, because this feels like an accomplishment.

Obviously, I told Audrey about how much fun I had to a point where she had to tell me to shut up.

But I can't lie and say that it wouldn't be nice to tell someone from my old school that.

Anyone.

They didn't message me once after I had moved schools.

It hurt with the others, but it hurt the most when my closest friend, Leila stopped keeping touch with me.

She used to be one of my closest friends and the teachers hated us together.

Especially our English teacher.

Kicking us out of her class for talking too much even though we were one of her best students.

Always scolding us for not being like our sisters who she also taught.

But that all just seems like distant memories. Yet my chest still aches thinking about them.

Leila still kept in touch the first few weeks and I'm beyond grateful for that, but something has changed, we both can't deny that.

From messaging each other everyday with no fail to just the occasional 'I miss you' after sending a 'today, one year ago' picture, which is mostly from me.

We still follow eachother on our socials though.

I see their stories, watch them having the same amount of fun they used to have when I was there.

When I'm feeling extra pitiful, I wonder if they even miss me as much I miss them. All of them.

Or did they just forget about me?

I must be in one of those moods today too, because when I open my other friend, Nailea's story it's an edit of our-no, their class with the caption, 'I love you, uglies.'

My chest tightens to a point I almost can't breathe. I'm being dramatic but I'm seriously not.

My eyes burn and I quickly blink fast so my vision can clear.

That's what I used to call them.

I used to call them that to a point where all of them got so used to it that it slipped into their everyday vocabulary.

So?

Anyone can use that word, you didn't invent it. Who even calls their friends that?

It was a term of fondness that I used to use.