What Love Feels Like

Four | sick

Ariella

I wake up to my body feeling like I got hit by a bus multiple times and my throat feeling like sandpaper when I drink water.

I should've savoured my throat not hurting more.

As I somehow trudged to the kitchen, I notice my parents had already left for work and remembered the conference that was being held for three days that they had to attend.

I know this seems out of touch, but I genuinely do not know what my parents do for a living.

All I know is that they're some type of engineers no more.

I know that we have everything we need with whatever they earn, and I am beyond grateful for that but every time I ask either of them on what they do I either end up zoning out or I either.. Well I only just zone out then forget about what I had even asked about.

The silence tells me that Audrey isn't at home as well.

I try to feel more positive by making or more like trying to make pancakes from scratch but end up burning it.

I settle for a glass of milk instead.

Now I know being Nara Smith isn't easy.

I look at the time and sigh,
Time for school.

~~

I make it through three classes without passing out or throwing up, and by the time I enter my fourth class, all my energy is drained.

I squint my eyes from the door to see if the teacher is here, but no, she's probably late.

Come to think of it, I'm probably early for the first time ever.

Only a few students here and there, but they're busy in their own conversations.

I sit down on my seat and feel a wave of dizziness washing over me. I turn to see if Noah's here yet, since he is in the same class, but the seat is empty.

I try to gain more energy by drinking water but it doesn't work, instead it just feels like I swallowed a bunch of needles.

Can I just drink the substance that every human being is supposed to drink to survive, without my throat feeling like an eraser when somebody is poking holes at it in class because they're bored?

Water is so problematic sometimes.

Or maybe it's my throat.

I put my head down, and while normally I say I hate sleeping in class when I could be using that time to finish my work, today seems to be an exception.

It's not like I'm going to sleep, I'm just resting my eyes for a few minutes.

I try to convince myself as I slowly drift off with the sounds of quiet chatter in the background.

~~~

"Lala, wake up,class is over." A hand nudges me gently.

I shift, but don't make an effort to open my eyes.

It nudges me a few more times.

I slowly sit up to see who it was.

"What?" I say so softly, I barely recognize that voice coming out of my mouth is mine.

"Class is over, everybody left for lunch. Let's go." Noah says his lips turning into a frown as he looks at me.

I nod absent-mindedly, I get up to stand and stumble, but before I can fall face flat to the ground,two strong hands hold my biceps almost instinctively.