What Love Feels Like

One | First freaking day

Ariella

Everything is going to be okay.
Everything is going to be okay.
Everything is going to be okay.

I chant mentally as I walk through the crowded hallways. I just need to make a few friends before my first class starts, no biggie.

But it is a biggie.

I don't even know how to make new friends besides the ones I already had in my old school.

Maybe it helped that I had two friends in my old school who were the same people with me in my kindergarten and that we've been friends from then.

Because 7 year old me definitely had more confidence than 17 year old me.

In my defence, it is way easier to make friends when you're a kid, you just start playing with them and that's that.

Okay but seriously how do you make friends?

Do I just walk up to them and say, "hey, do you wanna be my friend? "

But then what if they just give me a disgusted look and run away as if I'm a creep?

Or do you just act all casual and pretend we know each other like coming up to them from behind and putting your hands on their eyes and saying, "guess who?"

But then that would land me a restraining order and a kick in my (non existent) dick as a self defense move from the person.

I give up.

The bell rings and I just accept my fate. I walk to my first class, and unfortunately since I'm not the only student here, the others seem to be doing the same.

Unlike me though, they all have company with them.

I close my eyes and exhale, it's okay, people enjoy their own company, they yearn for it.

So why am I dreading it?

Perhaps it's because my whole life I've been around the same people and I don't know what to do on my own.

I miss my friends.

I never had a best friend, but I did have close friends ever since I could remember.

But for some reason, none of my friendships ever lasted in a healthy way, it was this whole toxic series that never ended.

Friends, close friends, something happens, friendship ends.

I always got overly excited when I made a friend, always hoping they would be my best friend who would be there for me just like how my sister and her best friend were.

But she didn't. She just ended up getting closer to my other friend and they both used to hang out without me when I was the one who introduced them to each other.

Basically that whole "there is always a duo in a trio" type of thing.

So why am I being so pathetic that I miss them?

Ohh somebody's in a depresso mood today. Now we just need a perfect emo song to go with it.

I'm sorry, don't leave me, I want you here w-

I bump into something hard. Or someone hard.

That's what she said.

Shut up.

I wince.

The impact of it causes me to stumble back a little.

Two warm hands are placed on my shoulders to steady me. I look up and oh my goodness. He is breathtaking.