flutedrum | woosan ✓

45

Wooyoung sat in the dimly lit corner of his room, staring blankly at the wall as the thoughts circled his mind like a storm he couldn't escape. It had been a month since San had disappeared from his life, ghosting him without a word. At first, Wooyoung had been angry, bitter that San would just walk away like that, leaving him hanging after everything that had happened between them. But as the days turned into weeks, anger had faded, replaced by something far worse.

Doubt.

And Wooyoung knew why. San probably gave up. He probably thought Wooyoung wouldn't forgive him. He probably thought Wooyoung wouldn't want to be related with him anymore. He thought Wooyoung wouldn't want him anymore.

"Stop. Stop. Stop." Wooyoung muttered to himself, gripping his pillow tighter, as if that could stop the barrage of thoughts. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force the thoughts out of his mind, but they kept flooding in. San gave up because you made him think you didn't care. He gave up because you fucking pushed him away.

But it wasn't true. Wooyoung knew San hadn't given up easily. San had tried, over and over again, to reach him, to apologize, to fix things. He had taken risks for Wooyoung, had even freed him from the suffocating grip of their controlling company. And what had Wooyoung done? He had pushed him away. Every time.

"Why did you do it, Wooyoung?" he whispered into the quiet room, his voice barely above a breath. The question wasn't aimed at anyone but himself. Why did you push him away?

A part of him knew. It was easier to be angry, to keep that wall up, than to let himself feel the hurt that had been festering inside. But now, all that was left was this unbearable emptiness, and the haunting realization that maybe San thought he wasn't wanted anymore.

He buried his face into his hands, breathing heavily, fighting the tears that threatened to spill over. "You deserve this," he whispered bitterly. "You deserve all of it. But not San. You deserve someone worse than him."

The weight of his own words hit him hard, and for a moment, Wooyoung couldn't breathe. Was that it? Had he been punishing himself all this time, pushing away the one person who had actually fought for him? Because deep down, he didn't believe he deserved someone like San?

He shook his head, trying to shake off the thoughts, but they clung to him, gnawing at his mind, refusing to let go. He had lost San. He had pushed him so far away that now, it seemed impossible to bring him back.

"Maybe it's too late..." Wooyoung's voice cracked, as a single tear finally escaped, sliding down his cheek. The emptiness that followed the tear felt like a void, swallowing him whole.

And for the first time in a long while, Wooyoung didn't know if he could pull himself out of it.

"Fuck this." Wooyoung muttered angrily under his breath. The frustration surged through him, igniting a fire he hadn't felt in weeks. He stood abruptly, marching over to the small table in the corner of the room where his most reliable item lay—

His flute.

He grabbed it with a firm grip, its weight in his hands bringing back memories of moments when the music had been his escape. His refuge. The only thing that had ever made sense when everything else in his life had spiraled out of control.

Wooyoung pressed the flute to his lips, blowing a soft note, letting the familiar sound fill the room. He closed his eyes, focusing on the music instead of the gnawing emptiness inside him. Slowly, his fingers moved across the keys, producing a melody that started out soft, almost hesitant, before growing louder, more confident. Each note a release of the emotions he'd been holding in for too long.

The music was raw, filled with all the anger, frustration, and heartache that had been eating away at him. It was chaotic and unrefined, but it was real. It was all he had.

He played harder, pushing the limits of the flute, trying to drown out the voices in his head. San doesn't care anymore. You pushed him away. You ruined everything. The thoughts pounded against him, but he fought back with the music, letting it speak for him when words failed.

The melody shifted, becoming softer, sadder. The anger drained away, leaving behind nothing but a hollow ache. The ache of missing someone who had once been everything. Someone who had tried so hard to stay by his side, only to be pushed away time and time again.

Tears welled up in Wooyoung's eyes, but he kept playing, pouring every ounce of himself into the music. The salty taste of his tears soon got to his lips, reminding him how bitter his life truly was now. Because this was all he had left. He then let himself break down. Shatter into pieces.

Mingi and Jongho had already made up. Their paths were cleared, and everything seemed to be falling back into place for them. But Wooyoung? He still felt trapped, weighed down by the unresolved tension between himself and Seonghwa. The universe seemed intent on keeping them in the dark, refusing to let them find the peace that everyone else was starting to reclaim.

He was genuinely happy for his best friend, Mingi, and the maknae, Jongho—the two people he always treated like family. Seeing their happiness should've been enough to lift his spirits, but it wasn't. Instead, it gnawed at him. Why couldn't he and Seonghwa be happy too? Why did everything have to be so fucking difficult for them?

Was the universe punishing them? Torturing them like this on purpose?

Wooyoung felt utterly alone. No one could fix this. He couldn't rely on Mingi, Jongho, or even Seonghwa to make things better. Not this time. People weren't always there to save him, to clean up his messes or repair what was broken.

And now, standing alone in the silence, Wooyoung realized something that stung deeper than all his other thoughts combined—he couldn't even rely on himself. Not anymore. He was determined to fix this. If he had to fix his own problem, he would do it. He didn't want to be tortured like this anymore.

"Wooyoung?" a voice peeked out from his door. It was Seonghwa, all dressed-up.
"Yes hyung?" he quickly smiled, covering up his crying before the older saw him.
"I'm going out for a bit. Joong's taking me out." He happily announced. "Stay safe, alright? I'll bring you, Mingi and Jongho food on my way." his grin grew wider every second.

"A-alright. Bye, hyung." Wooyoung muttered softly as he shut the door after Seonghwa left. He stood there, staring at the closed door for a moment, the silence around him amplifying the weight of the words he'd just spoken.

So that's how it was going to be, huh? Seonghwa had his own burdens, sure, but Wooyoung couldn't help the sinking feeling that everyone else was somehow finding their way out of the mess while he was left standing in the wreckage.

Mingi and Jongho had moved on. San had tried, but Wooyoung had pushed him away, and now he was paying the price for it. And Seonghwa—well, Seonghwa was dealing with things in his own way, but even he seemed closer to a resolution.

But Wooyoung? He was still stuck, trapped in his own chaos. He had no clear path ahead, just a confusing swirl of regrets, anger, and unresolved feelings.

The weight of it hit him all at once, pressing down on his chest, making it harder to breathe. Everyone else was freeing themselves from their problems, but he—he was still chained down, sinking deeper with every passing moment.

Was this really how things were going to be for him? Was he destined to be left behind, carrying the weight of everything while the rest of them moved forward? No. He wasn't. He was going to fix his own problem. He sent San a text, hoping he'd see it soon. But San saw it immediately.

"I'm coming."