Between the desks

Chapter 16

Elizabeth's POV

The drive home was a blur, but I couldn't shake the feeling gnawing at my chest. It was like a magnetic pull, deep and unsettling, one that I hadn't felt in years. I never felt this way about a student—never. It was wrong, inappropriate, and yet... there it was, lingering in the back of my mind like a stubborn echo.

I've always prided myself on keeping a professional boundary, on providing a safe, supportive space for my students. That's why I love teaching—because it's about fostering growth, giving them room to find themselves. But this... this was too far. I couldn't allow myself to feel this way about Amren. It wasn't right, and the mere thought of it filled me with guilt.

My thoughts were so consuming that I almost didn't notice the red light up ahead. I slammed on the brakes just in time, the car jolting to a stop. I let out a shaky breath, gripping the steering wheel tighter than I needed to. I felt like an anxious teenager, unsure of everything, and that only made the knot in my stomach tighten.

Before I knew it, I was pulling into my driveway. I hadn't even realized I was home until I heard the crunch of the gravel beneath my tires. I parked the car, but the knot in my stomach remained. I felt restless, like I needed to talk to someone before I lost my mind. Without thinking, I grabbed my phone, and my fingers instinctively dialed Scar's number.

The moment her voice came through the line, I felt a wave of relief. "Hey, Liz!" she said brightly, her tone always so full of warmth.

"Hey, Scar..." My voice was shaky, the worry unmistakable. "I really need to talk about something. Do you have time?"

"For my best friend? Always," she said, her voice softening with concern. "I'll be there in a bit. See you soon."

"You're the best. See you." I hung up, already feeling lighter just knowing she was on her way. Thank god for Scar.

Barely ten minutes passed before the doorbell rang, and I rushed to answer it. "Hey, Scar!" I greeted her, wrapping her in a tight hug. Her presence was calming, but the look on her face told me she was worried too.

"Hey, girl," she said softly, stepping inside. We made our way toward the sofa, but before I could sit down, I blurted out, "I'm going to need wine for this." My stomach was twisting itself into knots, and I knew I couldn't handle this conversation without something to take the edge off. Scar chuckled, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Wine, huh? This must be serious," she teased lightly, but I could hear the concern beneath her playful tone.

I grabbed two wine glasses and my favorite bottle of red, pouring them generously. Without thinking, I downed my glass in one long gulp. Scar raised an eyebrow, chuckling softly as she sipped hers, giving me a knowing side-eye. "Okay, what happened?" she asked, breaking the silence, her voice gentle but probing.

I took a deep breath, feeling the warmth of the wine start to settle my nerves. This was it. I couldn't hold it in any longer.

I told her everything. I started with the library—how it was just supposed to be a normal study session, nothing more. But then I talked about Amren. How I couldn't focus, how my stomach twisted in knots every time I saw her, how my heart raced when she looked at me. I spilled out everything, all the confusion, the guilt, the unexpected attraction that had blindsided me. My voice wavered as I tried to make sense of it, but Scar just nodded, listening intently, not interrupting, letting me get it all out.

"And now I just... I don't know what's wrong with me," I finished, my voice barely above a whisper. "I've never felt like this about a student before. It's not supposed to happen."

Scar set her glass down and looked at me, her expression softer now. "Liz, it's okay. You're human. Feelings don't always make sense, and sometimes they show up when you least expect them."

"But it's wrong," I argued, shaking my head. "She's my student."

"Yeah, but you haven't done anything wrong," Scar pointed out. "You're just... feeling something. That doesn't mean you've crossed a line. You just need to be careful, that's all. You know the boundaries better than anyone."

I sighed, slumping back against the sofa. "I know. I just... I don't want to lose control of this."

Scar smiled sympathetically, reaching over to squeeze my hand. "You won't. You're too responsible for that. But it's good that you're talking about it. Bottling it up would've made it worse."

I nodded, grateful for her words, even though my mind was still a whirlwind of emotions. 

I managed a weak smile, feeling slightly better. "Thanks, Scar. I knew you'd talk me off the edge."

She chuckled, taking a sip of her wine. "That's what I'm here for. But seriously, Liz, don't beat yourself up over this. You've got this under control. Just breathe, take it one step at a time, and focus on your work. If anything gets tricky, you can always come talk to me."

"Yeah," I said, exhaling slowly. "You're right. I think I'm just... overreacting."

Scar gave me a sympathetic smile, then leaned back into the couch, clearly wanting to lighten the mood. "So, aside from the student drama," she teased, "how's everything else? Still binge-watching those awful reality shows?"

I laughed, grateful for the shift in conversation. "You know I am."

We spent the rest of the evening chatting and laughing, the weight of my confession slowly lifting. But even as we talked, that knot in my stomach lingered just beneath the surface. I knew Scar was right—I could handle this. But the real challenge wasn't the feelings themselves.