Between the desks

Chapter 43

Amren's POV

I glanced down at my drink, realizing I had lost count after five. The warmth of the alcohol was settling in, a pleasant buzz washing over me, but it was accompanied by an urgent need to pee. Dinner was halfway through, and the day had turned into night outside, the sky darkening as the stars began to peek through. I cleared my throat, glancing around the table before announcing, "Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom."

As I spoke, my gaze caught Professor Olsen's eyes, and for a brief moment, the world around us fell away. Her eyes met mine, unreadable yet intense, making my heart race with a mix of confusion and something I couldn't quite identify. She seemed to be feeling the effects of the drinks too, but whether it was just the alcohol or something else, I couldn't tell.

I stood up and made my way to the bathroom, weaving through tables and guests. Once inside, I locked the door and leaned against it, closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths. What the hell am I doing? I chided myself. I didn't sign up for this kind of emotional turmoil. Her presence is just too fucking confusing.

I had come to the wedding wanting to have a good time, to let loose with my friends and enjoy the celebration. But now, knowing that I would have to see her three times a week in class—and now, here she was, invading my private life—made me feel like the ground was crumbling beneath my feet. The butterflies that had fluttered in my stomach when I first laid eyes on Professor Olsen today needed to be killed, before they grew into something more.

Get your shit together, Amren. She is your professor, and you can't afford to mix feelings of attraction with your academic responsibilities.

After washing my hands, I took one last look in the mirror, smoothing my hair and trying to compose myself. I unlocked the door and stepped out, only to bump into someone in the hallway. "Sorry," I mumbled, stepping aside to let them pass before making my way back to the table.

As I approached, Jess greeted me with a kiss, a gesture that felt forced and uncomfortable in the moment. Why am I so tense? I tried to shake it off, but the weight of my confusion clung to me like a heavy cloak. Professor Olsen's gaze fell on me again, and this time, I could almost detect a hint of compassion behind her intense eyes. But I quickly dismissed the thought. You're imagining it, I told myself.

Dessert was being served, a feast for the senses. The sweet aromas filled the air, and I couldn't help but be distracted by Lily's enthusiastic praise of the cook. She was animated, talking about the nuances of the flavors, her eyes sparkling with delight. Meanwhile, Jess's hand lingered on my leg, her fingers softly grazing my thigh, clearly wanting more than just a casual touch. "Babe, stop," I whispered in her ear, my tone more urgent than I intended.

The hurt in Jess's eyes stung me deeply as she withdrew her hand, taking a sip of her drink as if to shield herself from the sudden change in atmosphere. Why can't I feel the same way about her? I wondered. Why is love so confusing? The guilt washed over me, a wave that crashed into my heart as I realized I had hurt her with my words.

I gulped down my glass, the liquid warmth coursing through me and dulling the edges of my turmoil. Lily continued to chatter on, completely unaware of the tension that had just transpired between Jess and me. I nodded along, providing short responses, my mind elsewhere.

After what felt like an eternity, the dance floor was prepared, and the upbeat music began to fill the room, creating an electrifying energy that pulsed through everyone. Before I knew it, I found myself at the bar, ordering another drink, seeking solace in the familiar comfort of alcohol. Lily and Jess were dancing together, lost in their own world, and I felt a sense of relief being apart from them. This was easier—just me and my thoughts, no pressure to pretend everything was okay.

"Hey," a soft, calm voice interrupted my solitude. I turned around to find Professor Olsen standing behind me, her eyes slightly red from the alcohol but still retaining that distance that always seemed to separate us.

"Hi," I replied coolly, trying to mask the flurry of emotions swirling inside me. Her gaze flickered over me, uncertainty dancing in her eyes, as if she hadn't planned to engage in conversation.

"Do you enjoy the party?" she asked, her voice awkwardly punctuating the space between us.

"Yeah, I do. Do you enjoy it?" I stumbled over my words, a nervous laugh escaping me.

"Yes, I do," she replied, but her tone carried an undertone of desperation that didn't go unnoticed. Why is she talking to me? I thought. Why is she even taking the time to do this?

"So, Jess is your girlfriend?" she ventured, her question sending a ripple of confusion through me.

I felt the weight of her words pressing down on me. Why is she asking this? I wondered, a knot tightening in my stomach.

"Yeah, she is," I replied, giving her a small, perhaps too-bright smile. The silence between us stretched, thick with unspoken thoughts, and I could feel the awkwardness settling in like an unwelcome guest.

"I have to go," I said suddenly, the need to escape the tension overwhelming me. "See you."

"Bye, Amren," she replied, her voice soft, almost tender. I turned and walked away, my heart pounding in the chaos of the celebration.