Between the desks

Chapter 74

Elizabeth's POV

I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, my mind spinning in endless circles. Sleep was impossible. Everything that had happened today refused to let me rest. Amren's confession haunted me. She had confessed her feelings to me—her forbidden love—and I had lied to her face. I told her I didn't feel the same, but the truth was far more complicated. I hated every second of it. My chest felt heavy with guilt, and the weight of the lie was crushing me.

I wanted to tell her the truth, to admit that I had feelings for her too, but I couldn't. I had to protect us both. If I acknowledged those feelings, I'd risk everything—my career, my license, her future. Amren deserved to succeed without any drama hanging over her. She was brilliant, and she had so much potential. I couldn't be the one to ruin that for her. But still, the thought of her thinking I didn't care, of her walking away from me with her heart broken—it ate me alive.

My phone buzzed suddenly, lighting up the dark room. Without thinking, I reached for it, squinting as the bright screen burned my tired eyes. It was an email. From Lily.

I clicked on it, my breath hitching as I read the words.

My heart stopped. The words blurred in front of my eyes as I tried to process what I had just read. Amren... in an accident?

The first thought that tore through my mind was: This is my fault. I had lied to her. She had left shattered, and now she was lying in a hospital bed because of me. Tears welled up, and I couldn't hold them back this time. I could barely breathe, my chest tightening as the guilt crushed down on me.

Beside me, Scar was sound asleep. Her breathing was slow and deep, steady, completely unaware of the storm raging inside me. I shook her, panic flooding through me as I yelled, "Scar! Wake up!"

She mumbled something, half-asleep, but I didn't have the patience for her to wake up slowly. "Amren's been in an accident," I said, my voice trembling uncontrollably. I showed her the email. She squinted at it with one eye, but within seconds, she was wide awake.

Without another thought, I was already out of bed, scrambling to throw clothes on. My hands were shaking so badly that I could barely get my shirt over my head.

"Liz, what are you doing?" Scar's voice was calm, but I could hear the concern underneath it.

"I'm going to see her," I said, barely able to get the words out. The thought of Amren lying in a hospital, hurt, possibly worse—it was unbearable. I needed to be there. I needed to see her, to know she was okay.

"Liz, they won't let you in at this hour," Scar reasoned, her voice gentle but firm. "Visiting hours are over."

"I don't care!" I snapped, my voice rising with frustration. "I need to see her, Scar. I have to." My pulse was racing, my mind a whirlwind of fear and regret. I felt like I was losing control, spiraling. I couldn't breathe.

Scar crossed the room and stood in front of me, trying to meet my eyes. "Liz," she began, but I cut her off.

"It's my fault, Scar," I shouted, the words spilling out in a rush. "She drove like that because of me. I lied to her, I broke her heart, and now she's in the hospital. She was so broken when she left. It's my fault!" I couldn't stop the tears from pouring down my face. I was screaming now, the panic and guilt overwhelming me.

"Hey, hey," Scar said softly, pulling me into her arms. Her embrace was warm and steady, a lifeline in the middle of my breakdown. "This isn't your fault, okay? You didn't cause this. You did nothing wrong. This could have happened to anyone."

I shook my head, still sobbing into her shoulder. "You didn't see her face when she left. You didn't hear her voice, Scar. She was hurt. She was so hurt. I should've just told her the truth."

Scar held me tighter, her hand stroking my back in slow, soothing circles. "Liz, listen to me. You did what you thought was right. You were trying to protect her, and yourself. You couldn't have known this would happen. Don't blame yourself."

I didn't respond. I couldn't. The guilt was too overwhelming. I didn't believe her. I couldn't. This was my fault, and nothing she said would change that.

"Look," Scar said after a moment, her voice soft and reassuring. "Let's try to get some rest, okay? Tomorrow, after work, you can go see her. She'll need you then, and you'll be able to think more clearly if you've slept."

I wanted to argue, to push past her and drive to the hospital right then and there, but deep down, I knew she was right. I couldn't do anything tonight. Visiting hours were over, and I'd be useless to Amren if I showed up in this state. I needed to calm down.

"Okay," I whispered, my voice barely audible. I let Scar guide me back to bed, but the moment I lay down, I knew sleep wouldn't come. I stared up at the ceiling, just as I had before, but now everything felt heavier. Scar snuggled in beside me, holding me close, trying to offer comfort, but my mind was miles away.

All I could think about was Amren. Her smile. Her laugh. The way she looked at me today, vulnerable and honest, her heart laid bare. And how I had turned her away.

I didn't close my eyes for the rest of the night.