Goodbye. {Shawn Mendes Fanfic}

Apologies

All week Shawn has been calling and texting me, every time he called I declined his call. Every time he texted me I left him on read without actually reading the message itself.

I sighed before walking downstairs to see my mom in the kitchen. It was already 7:00 at night and I've been locked up in my room by myself all day. "Are you hungry?" My mom asked pulling out ingredients to make a sandwich. "No." I say and grab my keys from off the table. "I'm going to the beach I'll be back soon." I says and walk out the kitchen. I walk to the spot on the beach that's always quiet.

I sat there just looking out at the ocean thinking about life.

I hate my life and so many people think I'm happy or "okay". Nobody ever really cared about me. All I really want is for someone to love me but that would never happen. I got hurt by so many people who said they would never hurt me.
I will never fully understand why Shawn came into my life and make me happy for that short amount of time to just leave me heart broken and alone. I guess I just wasn't enough.

"Santana?" I heard a voice say from behind me. The voice had startled me making me slightly jump. I turn to see Shawn standing only a few feet away. "What do you want?" I ask harshly.  "Please let me explain." He said with pleading eyes. "What is there to explain Shawn? Clearly you're in love with Savannah." I say looking down at the ground. "Santana I am not in love with Savannah. I'm in love with you and only you."

"What about your Instagram picture with the caption or all your tweets about how you're in love?" I ask and a tear slipped from my eye. "Those tweets were directed towards you and the Instagram caption was all my feelings towards you. I can't really explain why that picture was taken but I swear to you I have no feelings for Savannah and I told her that, she questioned the Instagram caption and I told her it was to make it look like we are dating so the guys would stop "teasing" me about not having a girlfriend. She said she understood and still wanted to be friends. Santana, it was never my intention to hurt you and I need you to forgive me. I can't forgive myself for hurting you unless you forgive me and tell me we can try and work things out." Shawn says on the verge of crying. 

I don't know if I should trust him or not. He betrayed my trust once, how do I know he wont betray my trust again?

"I don't trust you Shawn. You hurt me in so many ways." I say looking down at the ground. "You betrayed my trust and lied to me." I added and looked up at Shawn. "You told me you wouldn't hurt me in any way, you told me I could trust you and I did. I gave you all my trust. You know how hard it is for me to let people." I say and a few tears fell. It was hard looking at Shawn I feel like I relied on him too much, he was my only source of happiness. When I was with him it seemed like all my problems and insecurities were gone. He made me feel slightly better about myself. 

"I know trust isn't given, it's earned and I really want to earn your trust again. I just need you to forgive me." Shawn says reaching out and grabbing my hands to hold in his. "Please forgive me." He begs and I sigh. "Fine." 

Shawn picks me up and spins me around and it was a little painful. Shawn placed me back on the ground before looking me in the eyes knowing there was something wrong. He grabbed my arm gently and rolled up the sleeve of the sweatshirt I was currently wearing. "There's more isn't there?" Shawn says referring to the recent scars on my wrist. I simply nodded and he sighs. "Have you eaten anything?" He asks and I shake my head no once again. "We're going to get food." He says and I have no choice but to listen. I knew Shawn was right, I did need actual food. We walked to Shawn's car and he drove until we found a place where we both wanted to eat at. We both decided on pizza since it was easier that going to an actual restaurant. We ordered a large pizza to go before leaving to go back to Shawn's house. 

Once we got to Shawn's house we saw Aaliyah sitting on the couch 'watching' tv, she was actually on her phone.  She didn't even acknowledge that fact that we were standing behind her. Shawn handed the pizza before putting his index finger over his mouth signaling for me to be quiet. Shawn let out a loud scream causing Aaliyah to get scared and toss her phone in the air. Shawn and I both started laughing while Aaliyah tried to recover from Shawn scaring her. "Why are you guys yelling?" Karen asked appearing at the top of the stairs. "Shawn just scared me." Aaliyah says glaring at Shawn only causing me and Shawn to laugh harder. Aaliyah's face was priceless when she got scared. "Shawn stop scaring Aaliyah." Karen says before walking back to her room.  "You're not funny." Aaliyah says to Shawn before picking up her phone that was laying on the floor. "I think I'm funny." Shawn said before leading me into the kitchen. I placed the pizza box on the table and Shawn grabbed two Aloe waters from the fridge. He handed one to me and kept the other for himself. 

Aaliyah walked into the kitchen and opened the pizza box. "Aaliyah go away." Shawn says getting annoyed with Aaliyah. "No." She says taking a slice of pizza. "You didn't even ask." Shawn says irritated. "You didn't ask to scare me." She says taking a bite of pizza."Okay you got your pizza now leave." Shawn's says. "No" She says and Shawn started to count down from five. Once Shawn got to two Aaliyah started to run, Shawn ran after Aaliyah and I laughed.

Moments like this I wish I had a sibling.

After a minute or two Shawn came back out of breath. "She locked herself in her room" He say and I laugh. That argument happened for no reason and I found it funny. Shawn grabbed the box of pizza and smiled. "Lets go watch Netflix. You can sleep over if you want." Shawn says and I agreed.

After eating pizza and watching a few movies we both fell asleep while watching a Disney movie.

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Omg I am so sorry I haven't updated I've been busy and haven't been on Wattpad. But rn it's 5:20 am and wattpad has been deleting the last part of my chapter over and over again so I had to keep re writing it but anyways I'll update tomorrow. I'm going to sleep.

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