A Darker Love

Chapter Thirteen- Bitter Sweet

Lunchtime was awkward. Really awkward. There was a silence lingering better the three of us sitting outside the cafe and eating our sandwiches. Kayla stayed on her phone the whole time and laughed loudly to texts from Matt while me and Caleb sat there exchanging looks. Every time Caleb tried to be nice and started a conversation her answers were monosyllabic and mostly "Yeahs" "Mhm" or a short burst of fake laughter. I wanted to hit her for being so rude to us but then Caleb gave up and just talked to me to distract me which made me feel a bit better. Then she started laughing again, it was shrill and it sounded like she deliberately did to just to annoy and I just cracked.

"Why don't you just fuck off to your precious Matt if he's so funny!"

It was the first time she looked up from her phone. "Hmmm?" She didn't even hear what I just said.

I got up and threw my sandwich box on the ground, storming away from her while Caleb ran after me.

"Hey, hey!" He touched my arm but I pulled it away from him and kept on walking.

Then, I stopped and looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just got so mad at her, god she's such a bitch!"

"It's okay, I think I was was about to throw my box at her if I sat there for another minute." He sat down on a bench and I sat beside him and laughed. "Now, fill me in on who Matt is?"

I told him about everything Matt had done to me in the past and how Kayla said that he'd changed, Caleb didn't look impressed.

He sighed. "Some shitty friends they've turned out to be."

"I know." I felt myself tearing up as my vision blurred into green.

He snaked his arm around the back of the bench and then pulled me in for a hug. I put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, letting the tears fall silently.

"At least I have you now, I don't know what I'd do without you."

He wiped away my tears and pulled me closer, rubbing my shoulder. "Same goes."

We heard the bell ring in the distance and didn't move, just sat there looking at the busy road ahead.

"I don't want to go back there, I don't want to face him."

"Why don't we just stay here then?"

"My Dad will kill me if he finds out that I skipped school."

"What if he doesn't find out?" He smirked, his icy eyes twinkling.

We went to the park and played like two little kids drunk on happiness, we went on the swings and had a race to see how could climb up the jungle gym the fastest. I laughed as Caleb pushed the roundabout faster and faster, watching the world spin in a dizzy haze and losing all my worries. We ran down to the duck pond, hand in hand and laughing at nothing. I felt like I was on drugs or something, without a care in the world with the only person in this world who would never hurt me. We chased each other in the woods and I fell over laughing my head off and pulled Caleb down with me. We lay on the grass, it was one of the times when I most felt alive as he intertwined his fingers with mine and we lay there consumed in complete happiness. The heat was intense and I wanted to kiss him so badly, it took all the strength I had not to.

He drove me home in this car at about the time when I would have come home from school even though my Dad wouldn't be in at this time. I hugged him tightly when we said goodbye and felt the current running through my body when he touched me again.

"Are we still on for tomorrow?"I asked him when we pulled away.

"The dinner thing? Yeah, I'm so looking forward to it."

"Don't lie!" I laughed, elbowing him slightly.

"I'm not!" He laughed. "Really, I think it would be good to finally meet the Geography teacher I've so famously heard about."

I laughed. "Be there at seven okay and woe betide you if your late."

He laughed. "See you."

I went into the house and had a banana to calm myself down. Then Dad walked in and I held my breath, waiting for him to shout at me for skipping school. Instead I got a half hearted smile and a tired "How was your day?"

"It was fine."

"Good, so Kayla didn't bother you then?"

"She sort of did, came up with some shitty excuse for leaving me."

"I bet you gave her hell." He chuckled. "Good on you."

I smiled and finished my banana, throwing away the skin.

"So, you ready to go?"

"Yep, I'm ready."

I went and saw my psychiatrist once a week, Dr. Cawfield and talked to him about my week. I got a bad vibe off him sometimes and his fake, plastic smile but he was the best and the only one near me. He asked me how my week went and I told him it went okay.

"Can you go into it in detail, thoughts and feelings?"

"Ups and downs. Sometimes I was happy and some times I was down."

"What do you think make you happy?"

"I met a new friend and he made me feel happy I guess. He's really funny and always looks out for me so I think that's what made me happy."

He nodded, writing stuff down. "And down?"

"I lost my two closest friends, Kayla and Isaac. They did some stuff and now were not really friends anymore." I sniffed and felt tears in my eyes.

He nodded again and wrote some more stuff down. "And how does that make you feel?"

"Down. I just want them back, we were so close."

He nodded again, there was no sympathy in his nods just professionalism. "Are you still taking the medication?"

"Yes."

"And do you think it helps?"

"Yeah, I can't sleep without them and the others normally calm me down."

"Have you had any panic attacks recently?"

I hesitated and he scribbled more down.

"Yes, school's the worst for them."

"Do you think that is because your friends are there?"

"Sometimes."

"Are you still being bullied?"

I hesitated again. "No."

"I know when your lying Sam and you know well by now that it doesn't get us anywhere. Now, I'll ask again, are you still being bullied?"

"Sometimes."

"It's a yes or no question, Sam." He looked at me with cold eyes.

"Okay then, yes but only sometimes."

There was a long pause, only the sound of his pen filled the room. I wanted to run out back to Dad but I couldn't. Dr Cawfield gave me a long, stern look like he had red my mind, it froze me to the chair I was anxiously sitting on.

"Now." He said. "Were going to have a few problems here."