Enough For Me (batjokes)

The Invitation

"Get up."

A warm hand shook Joker's shoulders. He jolted awake with a start, and sat straight up in bed.

"What?" Joker asked Batman, who sported a white tank top, jeans, and his cowl. "Whoa, you're ripped."

Joker subconsciously pulled the bedsheets above his chest, in fear of Batman seeing his bare chest and calling him fat.

Batman did look at him a little oddly.

"Bruce Wayne's butler made breakfast, if you wanted to join us before I let you go back to Harley."

"Actually.. I.." Joker smiled quickly. "I don't want to intrude. So, I won't be having anything, thank you." He giggled.

Batman stared him down. "Get dressed. You're coming upstairs."
Joker blushed furiously. "I told you, Batsy, I'll just be on my way, really."

Batman hit the bed with his fist, and the Joker jumped in surprise. Flashbacks came flooding back. Childhood flashbacks he'd rather keep hidden as long as he could.

Batman walked to the other side of the room and handed Joker his purple coat and clothes.
"No, Joker. You look sickly thin. Get dressed and I'll meet you upstairs."
Batman walked out of the room.

The Joker, shaking slightly, crawled out of his bed and put on his signature outfit. He checked himself in the mirror.

No. He was still fat. He could see his ribs easily, even through the clothes, but it wasn't thin enough. Not for him.
Definitely not for his dad, either. Joker imagined just what his father were to say if he had seen Joker's body in the mirror.

"You'd be soooo much prettier if you lost weight." The Joker hissed the same words his father had repeatedly told him time and again. "Maybe someone will want you one day, if you're not actually fucking obese."
He snatched the lighter from where it sat the previous night, on the floor, and tucked it in his pocket.

Then he put on his brightest grin and walked out of the room to find the Batman.

            
            
                                             *🦇*

"I'm glad you could join us, erm... Mister Joker." The elderly butler side-eyed him hard.
Joker giggled in response.
Batman showed the Joker a chair to sit in, and handed him a plate with scrambled eggs, bacon, and a chocolate muffin.
"Thanks, uh.. where's Bruce Wayne?" Joker asked.

Batman was momentarily at a loss for words. "He already left. He had to run some errands and buy Fried Chicken."

"..cool." Joker said awkwardly, and sat down.

It was quiet as the three of them ate the food. Well, two at least. The Joker played with his food, turning his scrambled eggs into a snowman, then smashing it and rebuilding.

"Harley wanted time with Poison Ivy, hm?" Batman broke the silence.

"Yeah, they're dating. I'm kind of a third wheel at times, so.." Joker said.

"I'm very surprised he hasn't killed you yet, Master B." Alfred whispered, and the Joker caught it. Batman shot Alfred a look.

"I thought you and Harley were together?" Batman said, sounding surprised.

"What?" The Joker smiled. It took him a moment to actually piece together what Batman had just said. "You thought we were DATING?"
The Joker laughed hysterically. He laughed until his face hurt, until he felt like he'd grown abs of steel, and until he ran out of breath.

"You aren't?" Batsy said once Joker had taken a breath.
He laughed again. "You thought! All this time, you thought we were actually dating."

"I thought you were married." Batman said. Both him and Alfred stared at him in shock.

"Batman, I'm fucking gay."

"..oh." Batman said after a pause. "That makes.. a lot of sense."

Alfred cleared his throat. "Master Bru- ahem- Batman, is bisexual."

"Alfred!" Batman hissed. "Why would you say that?"

"I already knew, loser." Joker said. "You're bad at hiding things. Like, hall of fame kind of bad. Massive L."

"Shut up, Joker." Batsy grumbled. "Eat your shitty muffin."

"Excuse me, that's offensive, Batman." Said Alfred, standing up to clear the dishes.
"Very sorry, Alfred." Batman said. "My apologies."

Joker laughed.