Enough For Me (batjokes)

Breakdown

Hi guys, I'm writing on my computer now, so the words might be a little more spaced-out than usual. Enjoy the chapter:) 

Joker stared at Oswald. He knew Penguin was pissed off beyond belief- Joker had never seen his friend so angry. Joker wouldn't even brush up against Oswald, even if he accidentally touched him he knew that Oswald would go off on him and probably beat the shit out of him and Batman both. 

Penguin was currently in the baby-proofed bedroom with the Joker, just pacing back and forth very quickly.

Occasionally Penguin would mutter choice words, and Joker would just watch, amused as hell.
Suddenly Alfred opened the door. Oswald stopped pacing and stared at the elderly butler. 

"Hi, Al!" Joker said, popping up from his seat on the floor.
"Joker. Penguin." Alfred greeted. "I've come to invite you both to lunch with Bruce Wayne. It is starting now."

"I'll pass." They both said in unison. Oswald glared at the butler while Joker smiled innocently.
"Lord.." Alfred sighed. "We are having Ceviche."

"What the hell is that?" Oswald asked.

"Seafood." Alfred sighed. Penguin's expression changed.
"I'll still pass, thank you Alfred." Joker said.
"But you haven't eaten in days." Oswald noticed. Alfred's eyes widened. Joker laughed.

"No, Oswald." He said, knowing that Alfred would now insist that he go to their dinner. "I have actually. Thanks for the concern, though."

"Why are you lying?" Penguin said, sounding offended.
"Oswald, I'm not." Joker said. "You can go with Al."
Penguin stared at Joker, his expression concerned and angry. "Fine, I think I will." Oswald glared at Joker. "And I'll bring some back for you."

"Oswald, I don't like seafood." Joker reminded Penguin. 

"I don't care!" Penguin went livid with anger. "And if this stupid Bat doesn't let me out of here, I will blow up Wayne Manor and the rest of the city along with it!" He stomped on the ground, and Alfred took a step back.

Joker howled with laughter. Bruce peeked into the doorway to see the Penguin losing his mind, his forehead red, and Joker laughing hysterically at him on the floor.
"Hello?" Bruce called to them. "Are you two coming for lunch?"

"No!" They both said, and the Joker gasped for air from laughing so hard.
"What's.. happening in here?" Bruce asked cautiously, and shared a glance with his butler.

"They're both having mental breakdowns, sir." Alfred said. Joker laughed even more, and Oswald began swinging punches at Bruce, who immediately caught both his wrists, preventing him from attacking anyone. 

"What in the world?" Bruce asked. "Do I need to go get Batman?"

"NO!" Screamed Oswald, at the same time Joker laughed, "yes". Bruce and Alfred looked at each other again. Bruce took Penguin by the wrists and took him outside of Joker's room. Joker heard Bruce giving him one of those talks in the hall, like a parent or teacher would give a kid. 

"I wanna leave!" Penguin's voice exclaimed. "And Joker better be coming with me!"

"Well he's not." Bruce said. "As long as I have the two of you, the most wanted men in Gotham, I'm keeping you."
"Finders keepers." Alfred muttered. Joker pointed at him and laughed. 
"You didn't find me, you asshole!" Penguin screeched, and Joker heard commotion, he expected that Oswald had kicked Bruce in the knee and Bruce had fallen down and taken Alfred or Oswald with him.

Joker stood up and peeked out of the doorway to spot Bruce pinning Penguin down, who was thrashing wildly and close to biting Alfred. 
"Hahahaha!" Joker laughed at the pile of men on the floor. 

"What in the Sam Hill?" Alfred hollered, picking himself up. Bruce was pissed off, and shoved Penguin back into the room with Joker. 
"Stay in there!" He yelled at Oswald, who angrily tried to open the one window in the room. Joker decided he should help, and the two pried open the window. Immediately a huge gust of wind blew them backwards.

"Oh my word, Master Bruce, there is no saving that one." Alfred's voice said in disgust. "Best to let him go now, do you think?"
"Patience, Alfred." Bruce sighed, obviously out of breath from Oswald's sudden attack. Joker turned around as Penguin peered outside.

"Do you guys have any music?" Joker asked innocently, like he hadn't just laughed all of the air out of him at Penguin. 
Bruce just stared at Joker. 
"There is no saving this one either, Bruce." Alfred mumbled. 
"You guys are comedic gold." Joker smiled, looking at them all. They stared back at him. 

"Dash it, Master B." Alfred glared at Joker. "Best to get them out of here, you can't possibly bring them both back. They're too far gone, face it."
Bruce sighed.
"Okay. Oswald, you can go."
Penguin turned around. "Is this a trap?"

"No, I am not Batman." Bruce said. "The only one that could maybe help you is the Joker, and we can do that by giving him rehab on how to be a better person. Alfred will show you the door."
"Wait, Joker isn't coming?" Oswald asked, suddenly rooted to the floor. 
"No, but he can call you once in a while." Bruce said. 
"This is ridiculous." Joker said. Alfred grabbed Penguin's arm and escorted him out of the bedroom. 

Joker continued to stare at Bruce. 
"I can see potential in you, Joker. You can become something better." Bruce said. The two heard Penguin throwing another tantrum at Alfred, and the front door slammed shut. 

"You're crazy." Joker smiled. "It's far too late for that."

Bruce took a couple more steps towards the Joker. 
"It's never too late for anything." He whispered, leaning forward a little. Alfred walked back into the room, and Bruce stood back up straight. 

Joker giggled.
"Where's Batman?" 
"He's downstairs. You're staying another four days, so get comfortable." Bruce said, and turned to Alfred. "We can do a lot in four days."

The Joker grimaced. He didn't like those words coming from Bruce's mouth. 
"What are you going to do to me?" He asked, the panic beginning to reside in. 

"Just therapy, Joker." Bruce said. "What do you think?"
"I think you're going to assault me somehow." Joker laughed, slightly scared. He nervously sat back down on the bed, and his anxiety leg began bouncing up and down. 
"Wha-" Bruce said. "I would never do that. Do.. do you need something to calm you down?"

"I'm very calm." Giggled Joker. His leg bounced faster. "Just don't touch me, and you might live to see another day."
Bruce and Alfred were very taken aback. 

"Alright. The Bat will be here soon." Bruce's eyebrows were furrowed as he and his butler left the room quietly. Joker looked out of the window to see Oswald hobbling out of the front gates. He could see the anger radiating off of his friend. 

Joker's leg went even faster. 

What if he touches me?