Simon "Ghost" Riley oneshots

Done and Dusted

Lieutenant Ghost done dirty by you..

In the middle of a bustling training day, Ghost decided to tease you in front of the other soldiers. "What's your bra size, princess? Bet it's not much. You're so small," he chuckled, making sure everyone nearby could hear.

Without missing a beat, you fired back, “Don’t compare my bra size to your dick, sir."

Ghost’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but a flicker of amusement crossed his face. “Sharp tongue, princess. But watch it—I’m still your superior here.”

You smirked, unbothered by his warning. “I bet you're small. Two inches, maybe?”

The nearby soldiers were already stifling their laughs, but Soap couldn't hold back. “Someone’s feeling cheeky today.”

You grinned, not backing down. “Looks like your hulking body didn’t do your dick any justice, LT.”

Ghost’s jaw clenched, irritation bubbling beneath his cool exterior. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

"Sure I do," you taunted, leaning in. "Last night, you left your condom in my room."

The soldiers gasped, eyes wide in disbelief, while Soap nearly doubled over from laughing. Ghost, red-faced, looked around in panic. "Where did you get that?" he growled.

“Oh, don’t worry. I found it along with these.” You pulled out his ragged underwear, waving it for everyone to see. “You still wear this? It's begging to be thrown out, LT!”

The entire group erupted into laughter, Soap wiping tears from his eyes. Ghost snatched the underwear back, stuffing it into his pocket. “That’s enough, princess.”

“Oh no,” you teased, “I’ve got another pair! I’m gonna hang this one on the flagpole.”

Ghost’s eyes widened in horror. “Don’t you dare!” he growled, stepping closer, trying to intimidate you.

You shrugged, totally unfazed. "Imagine your underwear, full of holes, flying proudly for all to see."

Soap, barely containing his glee, grinned. “Honestly, I’d love to see that.”

Ghost was near his breaking point when you pulled out another surprise—Soap’s thong. “Found this in your drawer, Soap. Didn’t know you were into thongs.”

Soap’s face turned beet red, fumbling for an explanation. “It’s not what you think! I was just—”

Ghost cut him off, exasperated. “Shut it, Soap.”

The soldiers were howling with laughter, and you decided to push further. You pulled out a smutty magazine from Ghost’s stash. “What about these, LT? Jerking off to these, are we?”

The crowd went wild, barely able to contain their amusement. Ghost, flustered and red as a tomato, tried to salvage what little dignity he had left. “You shouldn't have been in my room in the first place!” he stammered.

“Why not? Plenty of interesting things in there. Next time, I’ll find you barging into the women’s showers.”

Soap leaned over, grinning. “This just keeps getting better.”

With a wink, you placed the condom back in Ghost’s hand. “Got this from the pharmacy, LT. Wanna learn how to use it?”

Ghost stared at the condom in disbelief, completely flustered. The soldiers were practically on the floor with laughter, while Soap, barely able to breathe, grinned and said, “Mate, I think she’s got you beat.”

Before Ghost could respond, you leaned in close, whispering, “Wanna play with it? I’ll show you how.”

His eyes widened, but before he could say anything, you turned and walked away, leaving him standing there, speechless and humiliated.

The soldiers, still laughing, shook their heads in disbelief. Soap clapped Ghost on the shoulder, grinning. “LT, I think you’ve met your match.”