Unchaste Connection

fifteen

Bada's POV

Nagising ako sa pakiramdam na may nakayakap sa akin. I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was his chest. He's hugging me while he sleeps.

Siya lang naman ang may alam ng passcode ko bukod sa akin and kahit yata tulog ako, kabisado ko din ang amoy at katawan nya. I glanced at the clock, and it says 5:00 AM.

I looked at his face at ganoon pa din, naamaze pa din ako kung gaano siya kagwapo. 'yan, jan ka nakukuha nyan eh!' I decided to ignore what my mind says and just continue to look at him. Muli ko siyang tiningnan at napangiti na ako 'well, totoo naman kasi, ang gwapo naman talaga'

Nangingilid ang luha ko, realizing what I did to him nitong mga nakaraan. I looked at his eyes, his nose, his lips... parang ang amo amo ng mukha niya kapag ganitong natutulog sya.

Actually, kagabi ko lang din naamin sa sarili ko na nitong mga nakaraan parang nag-iiba na siya. His smiles became more genuine kahit sa ibang tao. Before, when he smiles parang lagi ng may itinatago. Aloof and intimidating, that's how he is before.

Lusher and Tatter have been able to make fun of him for the past few days. Lusher even joked with him na baka daw ibang Howl na yung kasama namin dahil nga marunong na siyang makisama, makitawa at makipag asaran sa kanila ng parang hindi na nahihiya.

I'm not sure what Eunki means, pero one-time narinig ko syang sinasabi kay Howl na masaya siyang nakabalik na ito.

I was startled when he suddenly opened his eyes. I'm confused because his eyes are somewhat different today.

He used to look at me with gentleness, yung para bang ako yung pinakamahalagang bagay sa kanya o pinakaespesyal.

Kagabi ko lang din yon napagtuunan ng pansin at na realize that he used to look at me differently from the way he looks at our friends. But today, it's also something new.

He is looking at me as if his eyes are telling me thousands of emotions that I can't name. Thousands of different kinds of emotions I want to name.

Nagtitigan lang kami ng ilang minuto bago siya bumuntong hininga at ngumiti. He suddenly kisses me on my lips, so gently as if he's putting all his emotions into them. Para ngang naiiyak ako habang hinahalikan nya ako.

Hindi ko alam pero parang ang bigat ng halik niya sa akin. Pagkatapos niya akong halikan ay agad niya akong niyakap. I immediately buried my face in his chest. Rinig na rinig ko ang malakas na tibok ng puso niya.

I can hear how breathless he is, parang may mabigat na bagay siyang iniisip. I bite my lip in the idea that maybe after four days of not seeing each other, he came to realize all the bad things I did to him over the past weeks.

I was brought back to reality when he suddenly hugged me tightly. Naramdaman ko ang pag-higpit ng yakap niya at ang paghalik nya sa ulo ko. "Let's sleep more baby, medyo nagbabawi pa ako ng lakas." He said. I can feel na parang medyo nanginginig nga ang katawan nya.

Maybe I'm still being affected by all the crying I did last night and by the intensity of the emotions he expressed in his kiss. I decided to forget all the things I've been thinking behind my back and hug him tightly instead.

I cleared all the things that were messing with my mind. For now, I will think of him and me hugging on our way to sleep.

"Okay ka na ba?" I asked him while I was hugging him. 'God, namiss ko sya, namiss ko to ng sobra' naiiyak kong amin sa sarili ko. I hug him tight, hoping that my hug will show him how much I miss him.

"I miss you." I blurted out. Nangako nga pala ako sa sarili ko na simula ngayon sasabihin ko na sa kanya lahat ng laman ng isip ko.

"I miss you too... so much." He answered in a whisper, but he also made a point by squeezing me tight while he said it.