Unchaste Connection

Eighteen

Bada's POV

'fuck..' nanginginig kong muling hinawakan si Hanah.

"It takes years for us to regain our ability to talk again. Mas nauna akong makarecover kay Jae. He's like a walking robot, no reaction, no feelings, not even talking, basta lang sya laging nakatingin sa kawalan. Whenever he has his episodes, wala akong magawa kasi nati-trigger din ako kapag nagstart na siyang magbreak down..." she's sobbing endlessly, and my heart is also hurting for them. Hindi ko maimagine ko gaano kahirap, hindi ko din alam kung sino ang mas mahirap ang sitwasyon.

"Dad resorts to bringing us to the US and trying different types of psychotherapy. I was responding to it but Jae, para siyang taong buhay na patay. Until his psychiatrist suggested electroconvulsive therapy for him. That time was the hardest. They were inducing seizures in him via electrical currents. Dad can't even look at him." Mabilis kong hinigpitan ang hawak ko sa kamay nya. Parang ayoko ng ituloy, parang ayoko ng marinig.

"Thank God, the electroconvulsive therapy has been successful. Nagreresponse na din siya kahit papaano. We spent a year pa sa US bago ulit kami umuwi dito. Pero that doesn't mean na magaling na kami. The psychotherapy sessions are still ongoing." She takes a deep breath and looks at me.

"Alam mo bang isa ka sa mga dahilan kung bakit mas naging successful ang treatment plan ni Jae?" Mabilis akong napatingin sa kanya, shock is evident in my eyes.

" His therapist suggested that we should find him something he can do as a distraction, as part of his treatment plan. Then I remember you, ang alam ko noong senior high ka palang may mga videos ka na dancing, so sabi ko wala namang mawawala kung itatry ko."

"I then tried to look for you online and was surprised na nagsisimula ka na palang sumikat." She smiles at me.

"At first, parang nanonood nga sya ng video mo pero lampasan pa din ang tingin nya sa screen..akala ko hindi gagana pero unti unti, he's regaining his focus and attention na, hanggang sa hindi nagtagal, he was able to communicate with us na ulit."

"I urged him to approach you or join the same class that you are in, I told him that maybe it's the right time na para magkakilala kayong dalawa, pero ayaw nya. Ang lagi nyang sinasabi, he is a broken man, and he doesn't want you to see him like that."

" Our parents had their prenup before the wedding because it was just an arranged marriage. So when mom died..." muli na namang tumulo ang luha niya.." sa aming apat nakapangalan lahat ng meron siya, pero dahil..." she gulped one more time "dahil dalawa nalang kami, dalawa lang kaming naghati ng lahat ng meron si mommy."

"One day, bigla nalang niyang sinabi na gagamitin nya yung mana nya, he'll focus on making his empire daw, sabi niya baka mas makatulong sa kanya kung maraming distractions. He was able to get his degree and start his business plans, siguro dahil doon lang naka-focus yung goal nya, he became really successful. Lahat yata ng line of business meron sya eh, restaurants, cafes, bars, real states, I lost count already.." natatawang naiiling na sabi nya.

"Finally, after ilang taon, pakiramdam ko ok na kami. Jae's is looking normal na kahit papaano, he looks like he is enjoying naman sa mga pinaggagawa niya sa pera nya." She smiles again, "but that doesn't mean na hindi na niya need mag session.."

Muli siyang ngumiti ng malungkot." Until now, he hasn't been able to drive the same car for a long period of time. Hindi ko na nga alam kung ilang sasakyan na ang meron siya kasi kapag pakiramdam niya nakakampante na siya doon sa sasakyan niya, pinapalitan na niya agad. Natatakot daw sya na baka sa sobrang kampante nya, maulit yung nangyari dati, it took him 5 years to drive a car again."

"I know what happened to both of you almost two years ago.." bigla akong namula sa sinabi niya which make her laugh a little. "Sorry, hindi naman nya talaga sinabi, hinulaan ko lang, agreement kasi namin na ishare ung feelings namin to avoid sudden attacks or if magka episodes man ang isa sa amin at least alam ng isa kung ano dahilan diba?"